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11-month-oldbaby behaviorboundariesearly developmentmillennialparenting humor
An exhausted dad sitting on the floor surrounded by baby toys

Debugging the Bratty G Baby Phase Before You Lose Your Mind

Yesterday, my 11-month-old threw a shoe at my head because I wouldn't let him eat a handful of potting soil, which prompted three completely different unsolicited diagnoses from the people in my life. My mom, who aggressively refers to him...

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12-month-oldboundariesdevelopmental milestonesparenting humortoddler behavior
Two twin toddlers standing in a living room looking demanding

Surviving The Boss Bitch Baby Phase Without Losing Your Dignity

Tuesday, 6:14 AM. The sun hasn't quite breached the London skyline, but my flat is already the site of a hostile corporate takeover. Clementine is standing in her cot, holding a soggy rice cake like a gavel, demanding that I...

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baby geardigital footprintinfant safetymillennialparenting humorpop culture
Jess looking exhausted holding a baby in a carrier while staring at her smartphone

What the Blueface Baby Tabloid Drama Actually Taught Me About Safety

My mom called me last week in an absolute panic saying I needed to delete my apps because parents were chucking their infants at walls, my neighbor Sarah cornered me at the mailbox to tell me belly button hernias mean...

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A tired mom holding a killer whale baby bath toy over a trash can while holding a coffee mug

The Moldy Bath Toy and My Black Killer Whale Baby Obsession

It was 4:12 AM, and I was standing on the freezing, fake-marble tile of our upstairs bathroom wearing Dave's college sweatpants—the ones with the literal hole in the crotch that I refuse to throw away because the waistband is basically...

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11-month-oldauditory safetyinfant safetymillennialparenting humorpop culture
Dad holding an 11-month-old baby in a living room next to a smart speaker.

Bigbang Fantastic Baby: A Dad's Guide to Infant Auditory Safety

It's 2:14 PM on a Tuesday. I'm standing in the exact center of our living room in Portland, holding an 11-month-old who's currently wearing only a diaper and one mismatched sock, while the opening synth chords of a legendary 2012...

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fourth trimesterinfant caremotherhoodnew bornparenting humor
Exhausted mother holding a newborn in a dimly lit nursery

I would like to see the baby and other newborn terrors

It's 3:18 AM in a freezing Chicago apartment. I'm holding a seven-pound alien that's currently shrieking like a defective smoke detector. My husband is dead asleep on the couch, entirely oblivious. I'm scrolling a forum with my free thumb and...

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11-month-old6-month-oldbaby cryingbaby developmentinfant sleepparenting humor
An exhausted dad staring at his phone while a baby cries in the background

The 'Is Your Baby Crying Meme' Explained: A Letter To Past Me

3:14 AM. The Apple Watch on my wrist is vibrating, aggressively warning me that the ambient noise level has reached 95 decibels—roughly the equivalent of standing next to a gas-powered lawnmower. The noise source is exactly fourteen inches from my...

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baby blueslondon dadmental healthparenting humorpostpartum
Exhausted parent staring blankly at a baby monitor at 3am

It's All Over Now: Surviving The Postpartum Day Five Crash

My mate Dave, over a very hurried pint three weeks before the twins arrived, told me the secret to the first week at home was to "just keep the kettle on and your head down." The glossy NHS leaflet we...

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A tired father holding two toddlers while looking completely overwhelmed

Jacqueline MacInnes Wood Baby Number 5 And The Boy Mom Chaos

Yesterday at roughly ten past four in the afternoon, I was lying spread-eagled on our sitting room rug while Twin A attempted to forcefully insert a plastic spoon into Twin B's left nostril. I had what I sincerely hoped was...

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