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Dear Past Marcus: A Debugging Guide to Dressing Your Infant
Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago: I can see you right now. You're standing over the changing table at 3:17 AM in our freezing Portland apartment, sweating profusely while holding a squirming, screaming five-month-old, trying to figure out how...
Dear past me: Burn the denim and other late night revelations
You're currently staring at a mustard-colored stain that has breached the diaper perimeter and is rapidly advancing toward his armpits. It's 3:14 AM. You're trying to unfasten a tiny, rigid denim overall set with six microscopic metal buttons while your...
The truth about girls clothing from a tired pediatric nurse
My mother told me I needed to dress my daughter in pure silk to protect her aura from negative energy. The veteran charge nurse on my pediatric floor said to put her in whatever was cheapest at the discount store...
The ugly truth about girls pants and those morning meltdowns
It's 7:14 AM on a Tuesday. I'm sitting on the nursery rug, sweating through my t-shirt, trying to force a stiff, sequined denim leg onto a thrashing two-year-old. She's screaming like I'm taking a bone saw to her shin. I...
Why toddler boy winter legwear is a psychological battleground
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last Thanksgiving to announce that if I didn't cover my son's knees, the winter draft would settle into his joints and cause permanent arthritis. Thirty minutes later at the park, a fellow mom...
Why Your Baby's Favorite Stuffed Animal Matters (And Terrifies Me)
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my husband was out in the driveway in his boxer shorts, aggressively sweeping a flashlight under the seats of our minivan. I was inside, ripping apart the couch cushions and interrogating our...
Why I exclusively buy baby boys clothes for my twin daughters
Maya was stuck in a holly bush. This wasn’t an unusual occurrence for a Tuesday morning, but what made this particular extraction difficult was that her supposedly durable, sparkly woodland-themed leggings had snagged on a branch and were rapidly unravelling...
The Truth About Baby Acne: When Your Newborn Looks Like a Teenager
I was standing in my kitchen staring at my three-week-old firstborn, Carter, under the harsh glare of the stove light. We had dropped three hundred dollars—which might as well have been a million bucks on our teacher salaries back then—booking...
The messy, exhausting chaos of picking the right baby boy name
It was a blistering Tuesday in late August, the kind of heat that makes your car steering wheel feel like a frying pan, and I was sitting in the Target parking lot in my rusted Subaru. I was wearing leggings...