The Sweaty, Stressful Reality of Baby Car Travel and Seat Safety
I was heavily pregnant with my second, sweating completely through my maternity tank top in a Target parking lot in the middle of July, trying to rip an infant seat base out of my husband's truck so I could move...
Surviving the Frilly Nightmare of Cute Baby Girl Clothes
I'm currently standing in the disabled toilet of a Costa Coffee in Wandsworth, staring in abject horror at my daughterβs back. She is wearing a gift from a well-meaning great-auntβa vintage-style, sage green dress featuring no fewer than fourteen microscopic...
Stop Buying Tiny Suits: The Truth About Dressing Baby Boys
I'm currently staring at a giant plastic tote bin in my garage, holding a pair of stiff, mustard-yellow baby corduroy overalls that still have the tags on them. Next to them is a tiny plaid button-down shirt that feels suspiciously...
The Completely Unfiltered Reality Behind the Cute Baby Aesthetic
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in late November, and I was wearing an oversized, pill-covered grey fleece robe that smelled violently of sour milk and desperation. My daughter Maya was exactly seven weeks old. I was holding her...
The Truth About Custom Baby Onesies: A Letter To My Past Self
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. It's October 14th, 2:13 AM, and you're sitting on the very edge of the living room rug, wearing those disgusting gray fleece college sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left knee...
The Real Reason Babies Never Actually Sleep With Custom Blankets
There's a massive disconnect between the baby gear you think you need before the kid arrives and the reality of keeping a tiny human alive. Before our son Leo was born, my mental image of fatherhood involved a lot of...
Skip the 90s Movie: How to Actually Soothe a Screaming Baby
It's 3:14 AM. I'm standing barefoot on the cold linoleum of my kitchen, frantically typing into my phone with my left thumb while my right arm is going completely numb from holding a rigid, screaming infant. In my sleep-deprived delusion,...
The Truth About Crocheted Baby Blankets (And Keeping Toes Attached)
It was 2am, roughly six weeks before the twins were due, and I was sweating profusely over a plastic hook and a spool of aggressively yellow yarn. I had somehow convinced myself that real fatherhood began with mastering basic patterns...
Surviving the evening screams with your sanity mostly intact
There was a specific time, 6:13 PM to be exact, when the atmosphere in our London flat would shift from manageable chaos to complete psychological warfare. You could set a watch by it. The girls would be lying there, looking...