Why I Took Kitchen Scissors to My Infant's First Pair of Sneakers
I was sweating through my shirt in a Target parking lot in late October, wrestling with a foot that looked exactly like a Hawaiian sweet roll. My oldest son was eight months old, and I was determined to get him...
Dear Me: What I Wish I Knew About That Happy Baby Organic Formula
You're currently sitting on the edge of the bathtub, the bathroom door locked so your husband doesn't hear you crying, with your phone screen brightness turned down to one percent while you frantically google what the heck you're supposed to...
The Have a Baby With Me Daniel Caesar Lie You Actually Believe
I was sitting in my Honda CR-V in the garage with the engine off. It was a Tuesday. My toddler was finally asleep upstairs, and I was just staring at the steering wheel while the Bluetooth kept playing whatever Spotify...
What the Greg Gutfeld Baby News Taught Me About Newborn Chaos
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the beige living room rug that desperately needs vacuuming, aggressively rocking a screaming baby with your left foot while trying to untangle a botched macrame order for the Etsy shop...
Ditching the Cringe: Baby Shower Activities People Actually Like
I was standing in my sister-in-law's cramped kitchen, holding a flimsy plastic spoon, trying to scrape melted, lukewarm Snickers out of a newborn diaper while seven women I barely knew stared at me in absolute silence. The chocolate had congealed...
The Truth About Finding A Free Baby Dragon Emote Code Online
I was standing at the kitchen island yesterday, elbow-deep in shipping labels for my Etsy shop and trying to scrape dried oatmeal off a highchair tray, when my oldest shoved my iPad directly into my face. He is four and...
A letter to my past self about having a first IVF baby
I'm currently staring at a giant red plastic sharps container sitting entirely too close to my half-empty, ice-cold mug of coffee on the bathroom counter. Itβs six months ago, and my best friend Rachel is sobbing on the phone because...
Reality TV Sleep Advice vs. Rural Texas Parenting (62 chars)
I was three hours into a late-night doom scroll, balancing a sour-smelling burp cloth on my shoulder, when I dropped my phone flat on my face. I was reading some pop culture gossip trying to figure out if Sparkle Megan...
Divorced With a Secret Baby: Emotional Triage for the Family
My own mother told me to sweep the entire situation under the rug. The therapist assigned to us by the clinic suggested we hold a radical honesty circle with a talking stick. My lawyer advised me to communicate exclusively through...