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The truth about the best baby shoes and why ours went in the trash
It was a Tuesday morning, probably around 9 AM, and I was sitting on our living room rug wearing black yoga pants that featured a very distinct, crusted-over smear of smashed avocado on the left knee. Maya was ten months...
How searching for the best baby dragon evo decks cost me $142
It was Tuesday night, roughly 9:45 PM. I was standing in the kitchen wearing my husband Mark's gray sweatpants and a college t-shirt that literally still had dried oatmeal on the left shoulder from breakfast. I was holding my phone,...
Why I Googled Beach Baby Onlyfans (And Other Dad Panics)
Before we packed the car for our first family trip to the Oregon coast, I made the fatal error of asking three different people for beach advice. My mother-in-law told me to let the boy run naked in the surf...
The Drowsy But Awake Deception and Other Newborn Survival Lies
I was halfway through singing a deeply out-of-tune rendition of 'Wonderwall' to a tiny human who was aggressively trying to headbutt my collarbone when I realised the greatest lie ever sold to modern parents. It was 3:17 am, Twin A...
The panic over your baby's stomach size (and why I lost my mind)
I was standing barefoot on the freezing kitchen tile at three in the morning, wearing these horrific mesh hospital underwear and a nursing bra that smelled entirely like sour milk and sheer desperation. It was November, so the house was...
Why I switched to baby's only formula (and stopped stressing)
I was sitting on the floor of my laundry room—which doubles as the inventory storage for my Etsy shop, don't judge—holding my phone in one hand and a screaming two-month-old in the other. I had just asked three different people...
The Day I Cut My Baby's Teething Necklace and Never Looked Back
I was standing over Beau’s crib holding a pair of tiny nail clippers, trying to decide if I had the nerve to trim his razor-sharp little claws while he slept, when my stomach completely dropped to the floor. He was...
What I Got Completely Wrong About Building My First Baby's Layette
I was standing in the middle of our driveway in a pair of Dave's gym shorts that I'd aggressively rolled down underneath my 38-week pregnant belly, holding a tiny, stiff denim jacket with functional metal buttons, and I was just...
When Your Brother Asks You to Help Pick a Memorial Marker
The fluorescent lighting in the monument showroom was humming at a frequency that felt like a localized cyber-attack on my nervous system. I was sitting at a faux-wood desk next to my older brother, Dave, staring at a catalog of...