Magazine

A very tired mom drinking cold coffee and scrolling her phone in the dark looking for parenting advice.

Searching Reddit for a Baby Walking Game at 2 AM Was a Mistake

It’s 2:14 AM. I'm wearing my husband’s horrific faded college track sweatpants—the ones with the inexplicable bleach stain on the left knee—and I'm hunched over my phone in the dark, furiously refreshing a forum thread. I'm holding a mug of...

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Frustrated mom holding a video game controller while a toddler plays on a wooden play mat

The Truth About That "Baby Steps" Video Game (Spoiler: It's Not For...

My mom swears that whatever video games my six-year-old nephew plays are totally fine for my three under five as long as I just cover their little eyes during the scary parts. My sister, bless her heart, thinks any screen...

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Toddler wearing a flutter sleeve bodysuit exploring a backyard garden safely

My Toddler Found a Baby Snake: The Ultimate Backyard Meltdown

Tuesday morning, 8:14 AM. I was wearing Dave’s gross gray sweatpants—the ones with the mystery bleach stain near the left knee that he absolutely refuses to throw away—and balancing my third, heavily microwaved mug of coffee on my hip. Leo,...

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Marcus staring at a slow cooker of meatballs while holding a digital thermometer.

Dear Past Marcus: Debugging the Baby Shower Meatballs Crisis

I've got a digital meat thermometer plunged into the geometric center of a frozen sphere of ground turkey, and the reading is hopelessly stuck at 138°F. It's 11:30 PM on a Friday. The kitchen smells like a confusing collision of...

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A pile of organic cotton baby blankets next to a wooden toy

The End of Humiliating Baby Shower Games (And What to Do Instead)

Five years ago, I stood in a drafty village hall in Surrey, holding a plastic cup of warm sparkling wine, watching my sister-in-law unwrap a massive ball of clingfilm while wearing a blindfold. Someone shoved a disposable nappy under my...

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A toddler looking at a tablet playing a colorful animated video

Why the baby shark video is actually neurological genius

We're stuck in gridlock on Lake Shore Drive. The smell of three-day-old formula is radiating from somewhere under the passenger seat. In the back, my daughter has initiated the kind of breath-holding, red-faced scream that usually requires a medical intervention....

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Tired dad looking at a smartphone while holding an 11-month-old baby with a messy uneven haircut

Why My Wife Wanted the 1980s Baby Shalini Haircut at Midnight

At 1:14 AM on a Tuesday, my wife shoved a glowing iPhone into my face displaying a grainy 1980s photo of a child with a perfectly symmetrical, brutally blunt bowl-cut bob. I was barely conscious, trying to reboot my brain...

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Exhausted dad looking at a kitchen wall covered in dried infant oats.

Why The Great Baby Oatmeal Cereal Incident Finally Broke My Spirit

It's 11:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm staring at a perfectly spherical glob of beige paste slowly sliding down my otherwise immaculate kitchen window. It hangs there for a moment, defying gravity, before dropping directly onto the cat's head....

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Exhausted dad looking at baby memes on his phone in the dark

A Letter To Past Me About Baby Memes And Surviving Twin Girls

You're currently sitting on the closed lid of the downstairs loo at exactly 3:14 AM. The tiles are freezing against your bare feet, and you're hiding. I know this because I'm you, writing from six months in the future. Upstairs,...

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