How We Survived Baby Ear Piercing: A Clueless Dad's Field Guide
I was sweating completely through my gray flannel shirt while sitting on that crinkly white paper they put over pediatric exam tables, gripping a color-coded spreadsheet I'd made about titanium purity levels. My wife, Sarah, was sitting next to me...
The truth about that heavy baby elephant walk
I'm sitting on the living room floor watching a fourteen-month-old slam his whole foot down against the hardwood like he's trying to squash a very large, very resilient bug. His arms are bent and held up by his ears like...
Dear Past Sarah: The Truth About That Perfect Light Blue Paint
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, It's 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and you're sitting on the gross beige rug in the living room wearing Daveβs stained Villanova hoodie. You're drinking lukewarm French roast from a mug that has...
The 2 AM Fever Panic and the Truth About Baby Aspirin Dosage
I was standing barefoot on the cold bathroom tile at 2:14 in the morning, holding my oldest son plastered to my chest like a sweaty, screaming barnacle. He was ten months old, burning up with his first real fever, and...
What pediatric nurses actually think about feeding baby dolls
I'm standing over my kitchen sink at two in the morning with a pair of surgical tweezers, a flashlight held between my teeth, and a deep sense of regret. My toddler's favorite interactive infantβthe one that supposedly eats synthetic powdered...
Real Talk on Baby Acne Treatments (What Actually Saved My Newborn)
It was 3:14 in the morning, and my husband Dave was hovering over the bassinet with his iPhone flashlight turned on full blast, aiming it directly at our four-week-old daughterβs cheek. I was sitting on the edge of the bed...
Decoding the 3 AM Baby Grunting Sounds Without Losing Your Mind
I'm standing barefoot on the cold Portland hardwood at 3:14 AM, holding my phone flashlight at a weird angle so I don't accidentally blind my daughter, just waiting for her to make the noise again. Don't do this. Seriously, whatever...
That time I thought my baby's heart rate was dangerously fast
The gel on the ultrasound wand was aggressively cold, but that wasn't why I was sweating through my only clean jumper in a dimly lit NHS clinic in North London. The sonographer was clicking a mouse with the sort of...
Letter To My Sleep-Deprived Self About This Incredibly Gassy Baby
Dear Jess from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the edge of the glider in the nursery at 3:17 AM. You've got an Etsy order for fifty custom trucker hats due on Tuesday that you haven't even touched,...