Magazine

A stressed dad holding a phone playing a colorful shark video next to a baby

The Baby Shark Song Lyrics Broke My Brain (A Dad's Log)

The dashboard clock of my Subaru says 3:14 AM. I'm driving aimlessly down I-84 in the pouring Portland rain, the heater blasting a smell of stale coffee and desperation. The only thing keeping the 11-month-old in the backseat from initiating...

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Toddler playing with handmade popsicle stick puppets on a wooden floor

Surviving the Meltdown: How a Baby Shark PNG Saved My Sanity

The spaghetti water is foaming over the edge of the pot, the dog is rage-barking at the UPS guy, and my three-year-old is lying face-down on the kitchen linoleum. I'm standing there with a wooden spoon in one hand and...

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A half-colored printed page of Mommy Shark lying on a wooden floor next to two scattered yellow block crayons.

My Toddlers and the Baby Shark Coloring Pages Obsession

The terrifyingly cheerful synthesizer intro echoes from the iPad in the kitchen, and I've exactly four seconds before my twin daughters initiate a full-scale riot. It's 6:15 AM on a rainy Tuesday in London, the kind of grey, spiteful drizzle...

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Tired British dad holding a yellow baby shark costume while a toddler runs away

Surviving the great baby shark costume incident that nearly broke me

I was kneeling on the kitchen linoleum at 4:35 pm on a rainy Tuesday, frantically sawing at a yellow polyester chest cavity with a butter knife while muffled, upbeat electronic music mocked my failures. Maya, who's two and possesses the...

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Exhausted dad holding television remote while twins play on the floor

Surviving the Neon Chaos of Baby Shark's Big Show with Twins

"Don't let them watch it, it completely ruins their developing attention span," said Sarah from our NCT group, sipping a decaf flat white while her only child quietly consumed an artisanal lentil. "Just put it on, mate, it's the only...

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