Magazine
Debugging the Baby Bag: The Mobile Hardware You Actually Need
I'm standing on the wet sidewalk outside Stumptown Coffee on SE Belmont, holding my eleven-month-old son at arm's length like he's a highly unstable radioactive isotope. It's forty-three degrees, misting in that relentless Pacific Northwest way, and my child has...
Babies Breath: How Do Babies Breathe in the Womb & Real Life
"You just wait until they take their first breath out here," my mother-in-law told me at my baby shower, casually stirring her sweet tea. "Before that, they just hold it for nine whole months." Bless her heart, she was dead...
Dear Past Me: The Truth About Aquaphor Baby and Drool Rashes
You're standing in aisle fourteen of the Target on Roosevelt Road, holding a tub of regular healing ointment in your left hand and the infant version in your right. It's two in the morning. Your daughter is at home with...
To Past Me: Losing Sleep Over That 7 Month Old Baby Kidnapped Update
You're sitting in the rocker right now, the wood creaking on that one lopsided floorboard in the nursery, clutching a cold cup of coffee from yesterday while the baby finally sleeps on your chest. The glowing screen of your phone...
The reality of a six month old baby and the sweet potato incident
I fed my son his first sweet potato puree while wearing a cream cashmere sweater. That was my first mistake. My second mistake was letting him hold the spoon. Within three seconds, he sneezed, and my kitchen looked like a...
Surviving the Three-Month Mark Without Losing Your Mind
My mother-in-law showed up on a Tuesday with a box of rice cereal, swearing that mixing it into a bottle would finally make my kid sleep through the night. Two hours later, the lactation consultant at the clinic told me...
Surviving The Sleep Sack Baby Phase Without Losing Your Mind
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, or maybe Wednesday, because time doesn't actually exist when you've a newborn. I was wearing a faded sorority t-shirt from 2008 that had a mysterious, crusty spit-up stain on the shoulder, and I...
What To Do With A Crochet Blanket For Newborn Babies, Y'all
I was exactly thirty-four weeks pregnant with my oldest, Tucker, sweating right through a floral maternity dress that felt more like a circus tent, when my Great Aunt Ruth handed me a massive, heavy, neon-yellow yarn afghan. Right on cue,...
Debugging The Complete System Failure Of Dressing A Baby Boy
I'm currently staring at a pair of dark wash, rigid denim jeans in size 9-12 months. My son is actively executing a perfect alligator death roll on the changing pad, and I'm supposed to somehow force his chaotic, rapidly expanding...