The Rihanna baby era changed how I view my postpartum body
It was three in the morning and my breast pump was making that rhythmic, soul-crushing mechanical wheeze. I was sitting on the edge of the bed in a pair of stained sweatpants, mindlessly scrolling through pop culture gossip while my...
Why I Finally Gave In and Bought a Baby Bottle Washer
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, and my knuckles were literally bleeding. I was standing in my dark kitchen wearing a gray nursing tank that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since the Obama administration,...
The 3 AM Meltdown That Finally Taught Me How to Name a Human
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in mid-August, and the air conditioning in our apartment had completely surrendered. I was 37 weeks pregnant with Maya, wearing my husband Mark’s hopelessly stained college lacrosse t-shirt, and I was crying so...
My Infant Is Glitching: The Truth About Those Endless Hiccups
It's 3:14 AM, and I'm staring at my phone's stopwatch, logging the exact intervals between my son's chest spasms. Every 4.2 seconds, his entire eleven-pound body jerks like a poorly coded physics engine that can't figure out gravity. He doesn't...
My worst newborn day and how a baby carrier wrap saved my sanity
It was 4:13 PM on a Tuesday in late November, and I was wearing maternity leggings with an unidentified, crusty white stain on the left thigh. Leo was four weeks old and currently doing that purple-faced, breathless scream that makes...
The brutal truth about your Baby Brezza formula settings
It's 3 AM in a cramped kitchen in Lincoln Park. The blue light of the machine casts a weird shadow over the massive bags under my eyes while I wait for four ounces of liquid sanity to dispense. I remember...
Why your baby prefers one side and how to fix a tight stiff neck
You're scrolling through your camera roll at two in the morning. You notice that in all four hundred photos you took this week, your baby is looking over their right shoulder. They're staring at the right wall in the crib....
System Meltdown: A Clueless Dad's Guide to Surviving Colic in Babies
I was bouncing on a half-inflated yoga ball at 140 beats per minute, frantically whispering "shhh" while my five-week-old son screamed so aggressively his face looked like a boiled lobster. My Apple Watch buzzed to congratulate me on my intense...
What's That Supposed to Be About Baby? Decoding Newborn Quirks
I was holding my iPhone flashlight over my daughter's bassinet at 3:14 AM, trying to see if her tongue was vibrating. She was making this rapid-fire clicking sound that sounded exactly like a dying hard drive. I had my other...