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Freaking Out About The Sugar Baby Movies In My Moms Group
So my sister-in-law is standing by the toddler swings yesterday, violently shaking her Yeti mug in the air, telling me I need to throw Mayaβs iPad straight into the nearest river because she just watched that Sundance documentary. You know...
When "Baby Please Don't Go" Means "Please Stop Giving Me Advice"
I was standing in aisle four of Target, holding a half-empty iced vanilla latte that I had honestly forgotten paying for, while my four-month-old daughter Maya tried to literally eat my hair. She was wearing this pale yellow onesie that...
Are You Raising A Baby Tyrant Or Just A Normal Toddler
We were standing in the kitchen on a Tuesday. Dev was holding a blue plastic cup. I had just handed him the blue plastic cup because, three seconds prior, he had demanded the blue plastic cup. He looked at the...
The Panic-Sweat Guide: Explaining How Babies Are Actually Made
It was a Tuesday morning, exactly 8:14 AM, and I was standing in line at our local bakery wearing a pair of black leggings that I hadn't washed since the weekend. I was holding a terrifyingly hot Americano in one...
What The Kodak Black Baby Mama Drama Teaches Us About Co-Parenting
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold linoleum floor of the laundry room. It's somewhere around 2:17 in the morning, and you've dried spit-up crusted onto the shoulder of your only clean t-shirt. The dryer...
The Honest Truth About Mixing Human Kids And Baby Puppies Now
My grandmother always kept this framed cross-stitch in her kitchen of a rosy-cheeked toddler sleeping peacefully in a wicker basket with a fluffy golden retriever pup tucked right under his arm. Let me just tell y'all, that image is the...
The Baby Grand Era: When Grandmaβs Advice Makes You Want to Scream
I'm staring at a drop-side crib that looks like it survived the Oregon Trail, and my mother-in-law is patting the literal patchwork quilt she just laid inside it. She's telling me how my husband slept in this exact death trap...
The Ugly Truth About Bringing a Newborn Home to Your Fur Baby
I remember standing in the entryway of our dusty Texas ranch house, holding my oldest son, Tucker, while still wearing those horrific mesh hospital underwear. My yellow lab mix, Buster, sauntered up, sniffed my knees like I was hiding a...
That Polo G Lyric Sent Me Down a Terrifying Parenting Rabbit Hole
I was elbow-deep in a tub of Sudocrem, trying to wrestle two screaming two-year-old girls into their nighttime nappies, when a playlist I hadnβt updated since 2019 shuffled onto a track by Polo G. I wasn't really listeningβI was mostly...