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The peanut butter baby protocol: Debugging a first allergen
Flashback to a misty Portland Tuesday about six months ago. My wife Sarah was in the other room on a muted Zoom call, and I was standing in the kitchen staring at a nine-dollar jar of organic, single-ingredient peanut butter...
The Truth About Personalized Baby Blankets (A Hindsight Guide)
It was a Tuesday. 3 PM, raining, and I was wearing a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation. Three-week-old Leo was finally asleep on my chest, and I was holding a dangerously lukewarm mug of coffee...
What Nobody Tells You About Having A Premature Baby At 33 Weeks
It was three in the morning on a Tuesday when the bradycardia alarm went off. The overhead lights in the neonatal intensive care unit were that specific shade of hospital fluorescent that makes everyone look mildly deceased. I was staring...
My Messy Journey With the Tula Carrier (And Why I Kept It)
It was a hundred and two degrees in July, right in the middle of a rural Texas Target parking lot, and my arms were bent backward like a stale pretzel. I was leaning heavily against the side of my minivan,...
The Baby of the Year Contest Reality Check No One Gives You
My husband just walked into the kitchen and caught me hunched over my laptop like a sleep-deprived gargoyle, intensely scrolling through the baby of the year 2024 contestants pictures. I had half-drunk, room-temperature coffee dribbling down the front of my...
Why Adding a Baby Duck to Our Family Was a Terribly Stupid Idea
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. The baby monitor was flashing that menacing yellow warning color, indicating my son was tossing around again. I was sitting on the edge of the bed in the dark, scrolling through a local...
Dear Past Jess: What You Actually Need To Know About Baby Clipart
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the laundry room linoleum, crying over a jammed HP inkjet printer while your oldest screams because his socks "feel spicy" and the baby is aggressively cluster feeding. You just wanted...
Surviving the baby chair transition without a trip to the ER
The sweet potato puree was everywhere. It was day three of solid foods. Riya was slumped to the left in a hand-me-down high chair that looked like a plastic spaceship. She coughed, gagged, and suddenly went silent. My ER nurse...
Dear me from 6 months ago: The Baby Brezza Bottle Washer Pro
Dear me from six months ago, You're currently standing at the kitchen sink. It's, like, 3:14 AM. You're wearing those gray Target sweatpants that have a mysterious crusty spot on the left knee and your hair is in a knot...