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The terrifying truth about the viral baby fuggler TikTok trend
It was exactly 6:13 in the morning and I was wearing yesterday's yoga pants with an unidentified yogurt stain on the knee when my seven-year-old, Maya, shoved her sticky iPad approximately half an inch from my face. I hadn't even...
The Late Night Truth About Your Grunting Newborn (And Why I Panicked)
It was exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in mid-November, and I was wearing my husband’s gray college sweatpants—the ones with the permanent, unidentifiable spit-up stain on the left knee that I absolutely refused to wash because doing laundry felt...
Raising a Black baby: A glitch report to my past self
It's 3:14 AM. I'm currently staring at the humidity sensor output for the nursery, trying to correlate a 4% drop in ambient moisture with why our son has been awake since one in the morning. I'm writing this to you,...
The Truth About Baby Fat and When to Actually Worry
I was standing in the checkout line at HEB last Tuesday, balancing a pack of diapers on my hip and praying my debit card wouldn't decline, when the cashier zeroed in on my youngest. "Oh my goodness, look at those...
Surviving Midnight Fevers: The Thermometers That Actually Work
I was standing in the master bathroom completely naked at two in the morning, trying to read a plastic pacifier thermometer by the light of my iPhone flash while my firstborn screamed like I was actively torturing him. That was...
My 3 AM Colic Panic and the Truth About Gripe Water for Babies
It's 3:14 AM. Tuesday. Or maybe a Thursday, time is a flat circle anyway when you haven't slept more than forty consecutive minutes in a month. I'm wearing my husband Dave's gray sweatpants with a mysterious crusty stain on the...
The nuclear bomb versus coughing infant joke and real colds
Listen. When my son developed his first real chest rattle, I received three distinct pieces of advice within a single hour. My desi mother-in-law told me to heat mustard oil with raw garlic and rub it on the soles of...
The Teething Gel Confusion: What I Learned About Numbing Gums
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the harsh fluorescent light of our open bathroom medicine cabinet, holding a tiny tube of adult toothache gel I had leftover from a minor dental procedure last year....
Dear Jess: The Honest Truth About The Baby Milo Confusion
Dear Jess from six months ago, I know you're sitting on the porch right now, sweating through a t-shirt in this ridiculous Texas humidity, staring at your phone while the toddler tries to feed gravel to the dog. You're exhausted....