Why we really need to talk about the ugly side of baby headbands
You pull it out of the tissue paper at your baby shower. It's a stiff nylon elastic band attached to a sequined peony the size of a small cabbage. The aunties in the room coo over it, telling you how...
The Panic Over Getting a Baby Helmet for Flat Head Syndrome
Dr. Lin pulled out a pair of large plastic calipers, and my stomach immediately dropped. We were at the four-month checkup, and I had fully expected a standard firmware updateβweigh him, check his reflexes, use the scheduled vaccines, and send...
Surviving the 5 Month Old Baby Chaos Without Losing Your Mind
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the dark staring at the video monitor like it was a horror movie. My middle child, who up until that week had been a perfectly stationary potato, was...
Exactly How Long Does RSV Last in Babies? A Dad's Viral Data Log
My mother-in-law texted me at 6 AM asking, "how is the babi doing?" because she stubbornly refuses to use autocorrect on her iPad. Two hours later, the barista at my local coffee shop confidently informed me that respiratory viruses are...
How Tall Is Lil Baby: Growth Charts And Late Night Googling
It's 3 AM in Chicago. The radiator in my pre-war apartment is clanking like a percussion section, the snow is piling up against the window, and my kid has been cluster feeding for what feels like three consecutive lunar cycles....
Hydrocephalus Baby: The 2 AM ER Trip That Changed Our Entire Lives
I remember the exact hum of the vending machine in the Lubbock pediatric ER. It was somewhere around three in the morning. I hadn't washed my hair in four days, I was wearing leggings permanently covered in lint from packing...
Decoding the D4vd Baby Rumors: Managing Panic in the Digital Age
It's two in the morning and the blue glow of my phone is illuminating the dried spit-up on my shoulder. I'm deep in the algorithmic trenches of TikTok, watching a teenager with a halo ring light whisper conspiratorially about the...
Confessions of a smug London dad: Surviving a real cry-baby
It was 3:14 in the morning, and the hallway carpet was perfectly imprinting its cheap synthetic weave into my bare knees. I had Twin A tucked under my left arm like a highly volatile rugby ball, and Twin B draped...
My 3 AM Panic Over a Constipated Baby (And What Actually Works)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the edge of my bathtub wearing my husband Gregβs oversized Syracuse Lacrosse t-shirt, which had a suspicious spit-up stain on the shoulder that I had just decided to...