Magazine

Exhausted mom drinking coffee while holding a crying baby in a messy nursery

The Messy Truth About Raising Cute Babies (And Surviving The Crying)

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was trying to wrestle a screaming, four-day-old Leo out of a stiff, scratchy mustard-yellow linen romper that had, like, seventeen tiny wooden buttons. I was sweating through my nursing bra. My...

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Mother placing soft acoustic earmuffs on her infant daughter's head at an event

The Medical Reality of Buying Baby Headphones: A Nurse's Guide

We were sitting in row fourteen at my cousin's sangeet in Schaumburg when the bass from the dhol vibrated through the floorboards and straight up into my sternum. My daughter was barely three months old. I had my hands clamped...

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Baby with a patchy friction bald spot sitting in a high chair.

The Bizarre Lifecycle of Infant Hair (And Why We Don't Shave It)

My mother-in-law was dead serious when she handed me my beard trimmer. We were sitting in the living room, staring at the side of my 11-month-old's head, which currently looked like a poorly maintained lawn. He had thick patches on...

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Tired mom holding a newborn baby in a pediatrician clinic waiting room

The Exhausted Parent's Guide to Choosing a Great Baby Doctor

I'm currently typing this one-handed on my phone in a clinic waiting room that smells aggressively like rubbing alcohol and cheap cherry lollipops, while my youngest tries to aggressively gnaw my collarbone off. The lady across from me is staring...

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A tired dad holding a newborn baby while looking at his smartphone in a dark room

What the bhad baby news taught me about newborn survival mode

The blue light from my phone was set to the absolute lowest brightness, but in the pitch black of our Portland bedroom at 3:17 AM, it still felt like staring directly into a laser pointer. My eleven-month-old daughter was asleep...

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A tired dad holding a baby wearing a comfortable organic cotton bodysuit.

The Miniature CEO: Why I Stopped Dressing My Baby Like a Tiny Adult

I was exactly four and a half minutes into trying to button a miniature, tailored tweed blazer onto my squirming 11-month-old when I realized my entire approach to parenting apparel was fundamentally flawed. He was doing that terrifying back-arching maneuver,...

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A tired dad looking at his phone in a dark nursery

The 3 AM System Crash: A Letter to Past Me About That Sound

It's 3:14 AM, and you're currently standing over the crib with your phone flashlight pressed against your chest so the glare doesn't wake him fully, intensely analyzing the rhythmic, aggressive hacking sound coming from your five-month-old son. You're sweating. You...

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Exhausted dad staring in pure panic at a tiny gold baby bracelet

The Brutal Truth About Baby Bracelets and Why I Totally Panicked

We were somewhere between the second slice of dry Victoria sponge and Florence’s inevitable afternoon meltdown when my wife's great-aunt produced the velvet box. We had survived the actual christening with only a moderate amount of screaming (mostly from me,...

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A tired dad holding a fresh nappy and baby wipes in a dimly lit nursery.

The 3AM Panic: Why Your Baby's Dark Green Poop Is Usually Fine

It's 3:14 in the morning, and I'm operating entirely by the pale, depressing glow of my phone's flashlight. The four-minute-older twin has decided that sleeping through the night is a scam invented by adults, and she's communicating this via a...

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