Magazine
My Baby Girl Chinese Drama: A 3 AM Survival Guide for Tired Parents
The digital clock on the wipe-warmer we never use is flashing 3:14 AM in a vaguely aggressive neon green. I'm wedged in the nursing chair, which has somehow lost all lumbar support over the last two years. Matilda, twin A,...
My Baby Daddy Is A Bed Bug: A Custody Exchange Survival Guide
Dear Priya from last October. You're currently staring at a navy blue canvas duffel bag in the entryway of your Chicago apartment, wondering if you can legally set it on fire. Your baby daddy just pulled away in his Honda....
Watching Movies Like Baby Driver When You Have Actual Babies
It's exactly 10:43 PM on a Tuesday. I'm wearing a faded nursing tank that lost all structural integrity sometime in 2021, and I'm sitting on the exact cushion of our IKEA sectional that smells faintly of old Cheerios and maternal...
The Truth About The Most Valuable Beanie Babies in Your Attic
It's 9:45 AM on a Tuesday, I'm wearing my husband Dave's absolute grossest college sweatpants with the hole in the knee, and I'm sitting cross-legged on the dusty floor of my mother's guest room staring at a giant, cracked Rubbermaid...
What To Know Before Buying The Expensive Mori Baby Sleepwear
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I had my phone flashlight clamped between my teeth like a miner digging for coal. My oldest son, Beau, was four weeks old and screaming with the kind of lung capacity that...
Why Treating My Infant Like A Little Primate Saved My Sanity
It was 3:17 AM. I was wearing a nursing tank top that smelled so aggressively of sour milk and desperation that I’m pretty sure our dog was actively avoiding eye contact with me, and I was standing frozen over the...
The Clinical Truth About Momcozy Carriers and Hip Geometry
The wind coming off Lake Michigan was zero degrees, and I was standing in the Target parking lot on Clybourn trying to figure out a plastic buckle. My three-month-old was screaming in the backseat. I had just pulled him from...
Millie Bobby Brown's Adopted Baby Broke My Millennial Dad Brain
It's 3:14 AM and I'm currently trapped under twenty-two pounds of snoring infant who requires exactly 68.5 degrees ambient temperature to maintain his delicate sleep mode. I'm pinned to the nursing chair, my left arm has gone completely numb, and...
The truth about naming your kid Mia and the digital footprint night...
Listen. You're sitting in the dark right now, the blue light from your phone illuminating that tiny, sleeping face against your chest. Your thumb is hovering over the Instagram post button. You've spent twenty minutes crafting the perfect caption with...