Magazine

A confused mom looking at an iPad next to a baby playing on a wooden mat

Look Outside Rat Baby: When Your Kid's Google Search Gets Real

Last Tuesday, I was standing over my farmhouse sink, aggressively scraping crusty oatmeal off a plastic toddler plate with my thumbnail, when I happened to glance at the family iPad sitting on the counter. The browser was open to a...

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Mom folding a pile of soft newborn baby clothes on a bed

The Brutal Truth About Little Me Baby Clothes and Newborn Wardrobes

I'm currently sitting on my bedroom floor, staring at a miniature tweed blazer on a tiny wooden hanger. My mother-in-law sent it for the baby, and bless her heart, she means well. But my six-month-old currently spends his waking hours...

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Vintage nursery window next to a modern organic baby bodysuit

What the Lindbergh baby taught me about nursery security

Listen, it's two in the morning in Chicago, the radiator is hissing like a dying snake, and I'm standing in my toddler's room staring at the window latch. I should be sleeping. Instead, I'm thinking about a homemade wooden ladder...

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A dad holding his 11-month-old baby while reading the news on his phone in a Portland coffee shop.

The Lily Collins Baby Backlash and My Parenting Firmware Update

It was 6:14 AM on a rainy Tuesday in Portland, and I was staring at a lukewarm cup of coffee while my 11-month-old son aggressively tried to pull my beard out from the roots. I had managed to wrestle him...

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Exhausted mother looking at the camera while holding an awake infant in a dark room.

Why the Phrase Sleep Like a Baby is Actually a Massive Fraud

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, and I was wearing Dave's old gray college sweatpants that smelled faintly of sour milk and desperation. I was just staring blankly at the ceiling fan in our bedroom, listening to...

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Messy highchair tray with safe smashed baby potatoes for a weaning infant.

Why My First Smashed Baby Potatoes Were a Complete Disaster

I was literally chiseling carbonized potato skins off my one good baking sheet with a butter knife when I realized the internet had completely lied to me again. It was 2019, my oldest son Beau was about eight months old,...

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A slippery newborn infant receiving a very minimal sponge bath

The lie of the pristine soap baby and other bath time truths

Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold bathroom tiles at two in the morning. You're holding a screaming, slippery infant who smells aggressively of artificial lavender. He is covered in suds, you're soaked in lukewarm...

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Exhausted millennial mother staring at baby name lists on her glowing laptop screen.

Dear Past Priya: The Truth About Social Security Baby Names

Listen. You're sitting in the sweltering heat of the Target parking lot on Elston Avenue, crying into a lukewarm chai because an influencer just named her kid the exact moniker you've been hoarding for eight months. I know you're devastated....

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Jess packing a bike trailer with a squirming toddler wearing a baby t

My Sorry Baby Trailer Disasters & The Toxic Y2K Baby T Trend

I'm standing in our cracked concrete driveway sweating completely through my favorite target t-shirt while trying to shove a supposedly perfectly-sized bicycle helmet onto a screaming ten-month-old who's actively stiff-boarding his body like a plank of wood. Dear past Jess...

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