Magazine
The Silksong Crying Infant Noise Explained For Exhausted Parents
It's 2:14 AM. I'm standing in the hallway in my boxer briefs, holding a lukewarm bottle of formula, desperately trying to isolate the audio source of a shrieking infant. The problem? Our actual eleven-month-old son is fast asleep in his...
The Skilla Baby Shot Panic: What I Learned Googling Infant Vaccines
I was balancing my phone on my left knee at 2:13 AM while my 11-month-old used my collarbone as a temporary mattress. I was trying to look up the timeline for his next round of immunizations, but my thumb slipped...
Surviving Twins With The Skip Hop Baby Activity Center
My mother-in-law arrived on a rainy Tuesday bearing a gift she had unearthed from the darkest, most spider-infested corners of her loft: a wheeled infant walker from 1996. It was a faded neon monstrosity with the turning radius of a...
Surviving the Messy Truth of the Suki Waterhouse Baby Era
I was exactly four days postpartum with my oldest, wedged awkwardly between the toilet and the bathtub in my rural Texas house, trying to angle my phone so the giant hospital-grade pad wouldn't show in the mirror. I had seen...
A Letter to Past Me: Stop Panicking About Normal Baby Weight
Dear Tom from two years ago, currently sweating through a grey marl t-shirt in Room 4 of the local NHS clinic. You're sitting in a plastic chair that's somehow both sticky and cold, balancing two identical infant car seats on...
Why I Finally Understand the Upscale Baby Department Hype
I'm standing in the middle of a brightly lit American department store, holding a miniature cashmere cardigan that costs more than my first car, trying to calculate exactly how long it'll take a six-month-old to cover it in pureed carrots....
That Accidental Internet Search Disaster & Why We're Going Unplugged
I was sitting in my worn-out nursing chair at two in the morning, practically cross-eyed with exhaustion, balancing my phone on my sleeping three-month-old's forehead while I tried to stay awake. My teenage niece had been at the house earlier,...
Co-Parenting Chaos & What I Learned From Pop Culture
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting in the driver’s seat of the Honda Odyssey in the Target parking lot. It’s 9:15 AM on a Tuesday. You're wearing those black lululemon leggings that have a crusty, chalky smear...
The Totally Unfiltered Truth About Raising a Newborn Baby Girl
I spent the first forty-eight hours of my oldest daughter's life absolutely terrified I was going to break her lady parts. I’m just gonna be real with you—the hospital nurses were wiping her down like it was no big deal,...