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Gravity, sofas, and the dizzying truth about spinning babies
"Don't try to pull me by the shoulders, Tom, you'll misalign my pelvis," Sarah hissed. She was currently suspended upside down with her knees on our mustard yellow sofa and her forearms flat on the living room rug, her face...
Searching For The Wham Lil Baby Trend Broke My Pediatric Brain
I was sitting on a freezing bench at Oz Park when I overheard two teenagers walking by. One of them muttered something about giving their lil baby weed, and then the other brought up the wham lil baby protocol. My...
How To Raise A Baby Dolphin Without Losing Your British Mind
At exactly 6:14 AM on a bleak Tuesday, I was standing in our London kitchen trying to enforce what a very expensive hardcover parenting book called a "structured learning boundary" while Maya systematically crushed a rice cake into the tile...
Surviving the baby dinosaur phase without losing your mind
Don't, under any circumstances, attempt to correct a two-year-old on the precise anatomical posture of a Stegosaurus. I learned this at 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, standing in my kitchen holding a lukewarm mug of tea while Twin One shrieked...
The 3 AM Reality of Raising a Baby Chick With a Toddler
It's three in the morning on a Tuesday. I'm standing over my bathroom sink with a warm, damp paper towel, delicately wiping dried feces off the backside of a baby chick. My husband is asleep. My toddler is asleep. I'm...
Why Watching Baby Boom As A Parent Feels Like A Personal Attack
Itβs 10:43 PM on a Tuesday, and I'm sitting on the left side of my couch wearing college sweatpants that have a literal hole in the knee and a maternity bra that I havenβt actually needed for two years but...
Debugging the Viral Rumor: Whose Baby is Kelce Taylor Anyway?
Itβs 3:14 AM, the exact hour my 11-month-old sonβs internal chron job decides it's time to test his vocal cords, and Iβm staring at my phone in the dark trying to parse a timeline that physically can't exist. The headline...
The Chinese Gender Calendar Trap: A Letter to Past Me at 3 AM
Dear Tom from six months ago, I know exactly what you're doing right now. You're sitting on the closed lid of the downstairs toilet at 2:13 AM, the harsh bathroom light burning your retinas, holding a plastic Tesco pregnancy test...
The Oh Baby Illusion And The Messy Reality Of Your First Year
I was standing in the kitchen at half-past three in the morning, staring blankly at the leftover winnie the pooh baby shower invitations still pinned to our fridge. They were beautiful, really. Pristine cardstock, muted pastel colours, a delicate little...