How to prevent a baby driver death and beat parenting autopilot
It was 2017, I was wearing these horrific grey maternity leggings that I refused to throw away even though Maya was already ten months old, and I was sitting at a red light on 4th Avenue with iced coffee literally...
Finding the Best Baby Gates Before Your Children Learn to Fly
At exactly 4:12 PM on a rainy Tuesday, I watched my daughter, who until that morning had possessed the mobility of a sack of King Edward potatoes, execute a perfect commando crawl across the living room and attempt to eat...
Troubleshooting Purees: My Hunt for the Best Baby Food Maker
It was 1:14 AM and I was holding a tactical flashlight to the water reservoir of a $150 baby appliance. I had my phone camera zoomed in to 3x magnification, trying to verify if the cluster of black specks inside...
The Search for the Best Baby Car Seat (A Dad's Hardware Review)
The rain was blowing sideways across the Providence Portland hospital parking lot, and the discharge nurse was staring intensely at my hands. I was attempting to click my three-day-old son's carrier into the base I had confidently installed in my...
When My Back Gave Out: The Ugly Truth About a Baby Hip Carrier
We were twenty minutes into the Parker County Peach Festival when I felt something in my lower spine actually shift. It was 98 degrees in the shade, the air felt like a wet wool blanket, and my sixteen-month-old son, Beau,...
Buy Buy Baby Registry: What I Wish I Knew Before Building v1.0
I'm currently sitting on my living room floor, surrounded by a mountain of collapsed cardboard, trying to figure out how to process a return for a piece of modular stroller suspension that I clearly ordered in a sleep-deprived fugue state....
The Stressed Dad Rules for Used Baby Gear and Sleep Loss
Standing in a strangerβs soggy driveway in southeast Portland at 9:15 PM, rain soaking through my fleece, trying to fold a secondhand stroller that smelled faintly of old milk and despair. This was my absolute breaking point. My wife, Sarah,...
Why Googling Playboi Carti's Baby Boi at 3 AM is a Parenting Mistake
There I was, balancing a dangerously lukewarm oat flat white on my knee at the Greenwich park swings, trying to pretend I still possessed a shred of cultural relevance. The dad pushing his toddler next to meβa bloke wearing immaculate...
Letter To Myself About The Baby Jogger City Mini GT2
Dear Marcus from six months ago. You're currently standing in the middle of a baby store aisle, sweating in your gray hoodie, trying to mentally compute tire diameters while staring at a wall of black canvas. You look ridiculous. Just...