Dear Past Me: The Great Clash Royale Dragon Emote Code Chaos
Dear Sarah of Last October, You're currently standing in the kitchen in those gray Lululemon leggingsβthe ones with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh that you keep swearing you'll throw away but never do. It's, like, 6:43 AM...
Why The Crack Baby Mitski Search Term Ruined My Tuesday Night
I was sitting cross-legged on the floor at eleven o'clock on a Tuesday, elbow-deep in a basket of sour-smelling toddler pajamas, when I saw it. The family iPad, which is supposed to be locked down tighter than Fort Knox, was...
The Truth About The Cringe Ass Nae Nae Baby Meme & Sharenting
I was sitting in our local coffee shop back in 2018, wearing this horrifying mustard yellow sweater that I genuinely thought made me look like a cool Brooklyn creative but actually just made me look jaundiced. It was raining outsideβthat...
The Truth About Cry Baby Perfume & Why Fragrance Ruins Naptime
The clock on the microwave said 2:13 AM, and my living room smelled exactly like burnt caramel and aggressive strawberry milk. I was pacing the floorboards in my ratty nursing bra, bouncing my youngestβwho we affectionately call Baby Pβwhile he...
Why That Viral Cry Baby Popmart Figure Isn't Actually For Your Baby
I was standing at my kitchen sink, elbow-deep in cold oatmeal dishwater, when my 14-year-old niece shoved her phone directly into my face. On the screen was what looked like a perfectly round, tear-streaked child stuffed inside a tiny, fuzzy...
The Messy Truth About Dressing Your Infant in Tiny Stiff Denim
I was sweating completely through my only clean gray t-shirt, wrestling my six-month-old son into a pair of miniature, rigid cotton pants that featured actual, literal brass rivets. My husband was out in the garage blasting some playlist, and I...
Memo to past Marcus: What I wish I knew about black babies
You're currently holding your phone at a forty-five-degree angle under the nursery humidifier's weird blue LED light, trying to compare the exact hex code of your son's left earlobe to the back of your own hand. Stop doing that. You...
The Truth About Postpartum Anxiety and the bhad babie cancer News
My phone buzzed so hard it nearly vibrated right off the kitchen counter into a pile of smashed bananas. I was up to my elbows in dish soap, aggressively trying to scrape yesterday's dried oatmeal off the highchair tray, when...
The clinical truth about stealing that baby yoda name for your kid
I'm staring at a hospital bassinet card at three in the morning in the pediatric ward, reading the name Anakin and quietly judging the parents from the hallway. That was me five years ago. Crisp scrubs, zero kids, and heavily...