Magazine

Sleep deprived mom staring at a mechanical baby swing in a dark living room

What I Wish I Knew Before Buying That Magical Baby Swing

It’s 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, and I'm standing in my kitchen wearing a pair of Target maternity leggings from 2014 that smell aggressively like sour milk, holding a lukewarm mug of yesterday’s coffee, just absolutely paralyzed while...

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Close up of a smiling toddler with a gap between front teeth

The Truth About the Baby Gap (Teeth, Siblings, and Panic)

Don't do what I did last Tuesday. I was sitting in my crossover outside a strip mall, staring blankly at the baby gap outlet, violently typing "baby gap near me" into my phone because my toddler blew through the knees...

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A tired father holding a baby while looking at financial spreadsheets on a laptop

My 3 AM Million Dollar Baby Obsession

It's 2:47 AM on a Tuesday. I'm sitting on the nursery floor wearing a hoodie that smells faintly of regurgitated sweet potato, trying to rock one of my twin daughters back to sleep while her sister aggressively kicks the cot...

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Twin toddlers looking aggressively demanding while sitting in high chairs

Living With a Real Life Boss Baby: Who Is Actually in Charge?

Before the twins were born, my mother-in-law tapped her teacup and said, "Establish dominance early, Tom, or they'll walk all over you." Two days later, a bloke at the Dog & Duck assured me, "Just let 'em cry, mate, show...

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A tired mom holding a baby wrapped snugly in a stretchy jersey swaddle

The 3AM Rescue: Why a Jersey Knit Swaddle Blanket Saved Me

It was exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the dark kitchen in a pair of stained maternity leggings that I had supposedly retired three weeks prior, just staring at my newborn son. Leo was three...

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Exhausted dad holding a fussy baby wearing organic cotton clothes at 3 AM.

Debugging the Strick Baby: How We Fixed Our Fussy Trick Baby

The clock on the microwave said 3:14 AM, glowing in that menacing green font that just mocks your life choices. My son, who during the day usually resembles a slightly drunk, happy old man, was currently arched backward in my...

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A folded bamboo baby blanket resting on a nursery chair

The contradictory truth about bambus decken and infant sleep

My mother-in-law told me I needed to wrap him in three layers of thick wool or he'd catch pneumonia in the middle of a Chicago July. The lactation consultant told me to use absolutely zero fabrics, stick to skin-to-skin only,...

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A tired dad looking at a laptop while a baby chews on a wooden play gym ring.

Dear Past Marcus: Troubleshooting the Great Baby Mat Matrix

Row 47 of my "Baby Infrastructure" Google Sheet is where my sanity finally encountered a fatal error. It was 2:14 AM. The ambient temperature in the nursery was exactly 71.4 degrees, I had logged 11 wet diapers for the day,...

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Tired dad pulling a muddy adult-sized blanket out of a stroller wheel in the rain while the baby looks on.

Wie groß sollte eine Babydecke sein? A dad's troubleshooting guide

The left rear wheel of the stroller locked up with a brutal clicking noise right in the middle of a crosswalk in Portland’s Pearl District. It was raining, obviously, because we live in Oregon and taking an 11-month-old outside requires...

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