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Why a baby harp seal cured my ridiculous mom guilt
The rhythmic, mechanical wheezing of my breast pump at 3:17 AM is the soundtrack to my biggest parenting epiphanies. There I was with my oldest kid, Liam, about four years ago. I was exhausted, leaking milk onto a pile of...
Why My Teething Twins Turned Into Beavers (And What I Learned)
The sound woke me at 3:14 AM. It wasnβt a cry, or a whimper, or even that wet, raspy cough that instantly deducts forty quid from your bank account because you panic-buy every brand of vapor rub at the all-night...
Why My Toddler Will Never Wear Rigid Cowboy Boots Ever Again
We were standing knee-deep in what I sincerely hoped was just regular East London mud at Mudchute Farm when the screaming started. Molly, one half of my two-year-old twin disaster squad, had suddenly frozen in place, glaring with pure, unadulterated...
The Absurd Truth About The Baby Camel Trend Invading London
I was standing in a fiercely over-lit organic grocer in Hackney at 7:15 in the morning, holding a squirming toddler under one arm like a bag of wet cement, when I saw it. A tiny, violently expensive glass bottle labeled...
The Happy Baby Carrier Hype Unpacked By A Very Tired Nurse
My mother-in-law warned me that wearing him would ruin his spine. My doula acted like putting him down in a bassinet would permanently damage his attachment style. The mom in my baby yoga class claimed the happy baby brand carrier...
The tiny tuxedo myth and other hard truths about baby boy gifts
I was sitting at my cousin's baby shower in Naperville last month, watching her unwrap a tiny, stiff tweed blazer. The tags said zero to three months. It had elbow patches. Everyone cooed, but I just stared at it, calculating...
When Your 1-Month-Old Baby Refuses to Poop: A Twin Dad's Guide
It's 3:14 AM on a wet Tuesday in London, and I'm shining my iPhone torch directly into my daughter's nappy like an amateur archaeologist hoping to uncover ancient ruins. Nothing. Just a pristine, mocking landscape of dry bamboo fiber. Meanwhile,...
Why My Humiliating First Attempt At A Baby Sling Made Me Cry
It was exactly 4:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing barefoot on the cold kitchen linoleum, sobbing quietly while trying to maneuver twenty feet of stretchy grey fabric around my torso. Maya was exactly three weeks old, screaming...
My worst newborn day and how a baby carrier wrap saved my sanity
It was 4:13 PM on a Tuesday in late November, and I was wearing maternity leggings with an unidentified, crusty white stain on the left thigh. Leo was four weeks old and currently doing that purple-faced, breathless scream that makes...