What Nobody Tells You About Buying Cribs for Babies
I was sitting on the floor of what used to be my home office, dripping sweat onto a set of Scandinavian assembly instructions, clutching a tiny Allen key like a weapon. It was 2am. My wife was heavily pregnant with...
Finding the Best Baby Gates Before Your Children Learn to Fly
At exactly 4:12 PM on a rainy Tuesday, I watched my daughter, who until that morning had possessed the mobility of a sack of King Edward potatoes, execute a perfect commando crawl across the living room and attempt to eat...
Why The Netflix Baby-Sitters Club Cast Changed My Parenting
It was exactly 7:43 PM on a Tuesday, I was wearing a fleece robe that smelled vaguely of sour milk and desperation, and my seven-year-old, Maya, was asking me why the girl on the TV was talking on a phone...
The Brutal Reality of Buying an Extra Wide Baby Gate For Your Home
My mother-in-law told me to just line up the heavy dining room chairs to block the living room archway. My neighbor at the park swore by those wooden accordion things from the nineties, completely ignoring the massive strangulation risk. The...
My Honest Review of the Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Baby Toys
"Buy the talking dog, it taught your cousin to count," my mom texted me on a Tuesday morning while I was trying to compile code. "Don't let that plastic nightmare into your house, it'll literally nuke his dopamine receptors," my...
Navigating Modern Baby Safety in a Wild World (And My Anxiety)
My mother-in-law told me yesterday that if I even let Maya look at an iPad before she's twelve, I'm basically frying her frontal lobe and guaranteeing she won't get into college. Then, literally an hour later, my best friend texted...
The brutal truth about choosing a baby mobile for crib survival
I was lying flat on my back on the reasonably clean portion of the nursery rug, my cheek pressed against a discarded Calpol syringe, watching a plastic hippo spin furiously at forty revolutions per minute while a tinny, slightly off-key...
Note to Self: That Premium Sewing Machine Won't Fix Your Sleep Depr...
You're currently staring at a pile of blowout-ruined sleep sacks at three in the morning, holding a pair of dull kitchen scissors and convinced you can upcycle them into a quilt. Put the scissors down, Priya. I'm writing this to...
The day a magnetic baby lock defeated my husband and saved the bleach
It was a Tuesday morning, exactly 10:14 AM, and I was wearing a pair of gray maternity sweatpants that had a questionable yogurt stain on the left thigh. Maya was at preschool, and Leo was nine months old. He had...