Magazine
The chaotic truth about hunting down a May 11th beanie baby
Whatever you do, don't lie in the dark at two in the morning, covered in a thin but incredibly resilient layer of what I can only hope is regurgitated formula, fiercely battling a stranger on the internet for a stuffed...
A letter to past me about the march 27th beanie baby obsession
Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the edge of the guest bathroom tub at two in the morning. The baby is finally asleep after three false starts, and instead of closing your eyes, you're squinting at...
Why That Vintage March 17 Beanie Baby Belongs on a High Shelf
I was literally sitting on the living room floor, knee-deep in a mountain of unfolded toddler shirts and cardboard shipping boxes for my Etsy shop, when the front screen door slammed. My mom breezed into the house carrying a cloudy...
The Honest Truth About Finding A March 13 Beanie Baby For Your Kid
I'm sitting on my couch at two in the morning, bathed in the blue light of my phone, watching a twenty-three-year-old mother weep on her timeline because she finally found 'Celebrate' on a resale app. That's the specific vintage stuffed...
Why A Little Milanese Knit Suit Is Actually Worth the Money
I was standing in the Buc-eeβs bathroom off I-45, sweating clean through my denim jacket, trying to peel a chunky, mustard-yellow cable-knit sweater off my screaming firstborn. It was Thanksgiving weekend, the temperature had dipped to a brisk 55 degrees...
Troubleshooting Baby Lip Ties: Why We Decided to Skip the Laser
At 3:14 AM on a Tuesday during month two, I was sitting in the dark glow of my dual monitors, logging our daughter's nursing "click" frequency into a Google Sheet. Click. Swallow. Click. Cry. Maya was in the bedroom, crying...
Why I Learned Trap Music Guitar Chords for a Crying Infant at 3 AM
Dear Marcus from six months ago, It's currently 3:14 AM, the relentless Portland rain is hammering against the nursery window, and you're standing in the middle of the room wearing boxer briefs, holding your dusty acoustic guitar like it's a...
Lil Baby Fridayy - Forever Chords: The 2 AM Search Mix-Up
The biggest lie the parenting internet tells you is that you can safely operate a search engine while running on two hours of sleep and a lukewarm cup of yesterday's coffee. Let me paint a picture for you. It was...
Why Buying Lil Baby Concert Tickets For a Baby is a Bad Idea
It was 9:15 PM in section 204 of the arena. My phone was open to a decibel-reading app I had downloaded in a panic in the parking lot, and the screen was just flashing the word "DANGEROUS" in bright red...