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Comparing human twin growth to the staggering reality of baby elephant weight

Twins and the absurd reality of baby elephant weight

In the suffocatingly warm waiting room of our local NHS clinic, whilst desperately trying to balance a screaming twin on each knee, I received three entirely contradictory pieces of advice about infant growth within a single ten-minute span. Our health...

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Tired mother looking at her phone in a dark nursery

Dear Priya from six months ago about the baby doge trap

Listen. I know exactly where you're right now. You're sitting on the rug in the nursery at three in the morning with a squirming toddler who refuses to sleep, scrolling TikTok with your screen brightness turned all the way down....

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6-month-old90s nostalgiababy feedingBaby-Led Weaninghumor
Toddler twins covered in BBQ sauce holding stripped pork ribs at a highchair

The Truth About Chili's Baby Back Ribs For Your Weaning Toddler

It's half past five on a dreary Tuesday, and I'm staring at my twin daughters who look less like children and more like they've just survived a highly localised explosion in a barbecue sauce factory. One of them is wielding...

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Mother drinking coffee while her kid plays games on a tablet on the sofa

Dear Past Me: The Great Clash Royale Dragon Emote Code Chaos

Dear Sarah of Last October, You're currently standing in the kitchen in those gray Lululemon leggingsβ€”the ones with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh that you keep swearing you'll throw away but never do. It's, like, 6:43 AM...

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Exhausted dad holding a baby nappy up to the light at 3am trying to figure out if neon mustard yellow is normal.

Dear Past Tom: A Warning About The Dijon Mustard Situation

Dear Past Tom, You're probably reading this while standing in the maternity ward bathroom, staring at a tiny, screaming human you met roughly four hours ago. You're holding a nappy under the harsh fluorescent light, and you're sweating. You've just...

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A dad watching boss baby back in business on a laptop while his baby chews on a sustainable wooden toy

Is Boss Baby Back in Business Ruining My Kid? A Dad's Log

It was exactly 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my apartment smelled faintly of day-old breastmilk and sheer desperation. My wife, Sarah, had left the state for a 48-hour work conference, leaving me as the sole systems administrator for our...

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baby safetybabyproofinggearhumorlondon dad
Frustrated dad looking at a baby gate at the top of the stairs

Finding the Best Baby Gates Before Your Children Learn to Fly

At exactly 4:12 PM on a rainy Tuesday, I watched my daughter, who until that morning had possessed the mobility of a sack of King Edward potatoes, execute a perfect commando crawl across the living room and attempt to eat...

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Clueless dad staring at a disassembled baby food maker on a kitchen counter

Troubleshooting Purees: My Hunt for the Best Baby Food Maker

It was 1:14 AM and I was holding a tactical flashlight to the water reservoir of a $150 baby appliance. I had my phone camera zoomed in to 3x magnification, trying to verify if the cluster of black specks inside...

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A tiny baby laying on a colorful rainforest play mat reaching up for a wooden hanging toy

Why Your Screaming Newborn Is Basically A Hairless Baby Toucan

I spent three solid months before my oldest was born painting his nursery the perfect shade of 'oatmeal' and buying tiny, stiff linen button-downs that cost more than my weekly grocery budget. My oldest kid is basically a walking cautionary...

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