Troubleshooting Green Baby Poop When You're Running on Empty
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday when my iPhone flashlight illuminated a diaper that looked like it had been sponsored by a 1990s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figure factory. Neon, radioactive, undeniably green. I froze with a baby...
Why the aesthetic frida baby humidifier ruined my tuesday night
It was 2:14 in the morning on a Tuesday in late January. Outside our Chicago apartment, the wind chill was hovering around zero. Inside, our ancient radiators were blasting dry, punishing heat into the nursery. My toddler sounded like a...
What is a sugar baby: How one google search ruined my afternoon
I was sitting on my faded living room rug, picking dried oatmeal out of my hair, while my toddler chewed thoughtfully on a rogue cheerio he found beneath the radiator. It was a bleak Tuesday afternoon in Chicago. I had...
My absolute meltdown over thrush in babies (and how we survived)
It was exactly 3:14 AM. I know this because the glowing green numbers on our microwave were practically burning into my retinas while I stood barefoot on the freezing kitchen tile. Maya was maybe four weeks old at the time,...
The Unfiltered Truth About When Your Newborn Can Actually See You
I spent three months of my pregnancy painting a perfectly muted sage green mural on my son's nursery wall. I curated taupe crib sheets. I bought dusty rose swaddles. I spent an embarrassing amount of money making sure his room...
The Great Melanin Firmware Update: A Dad's Guide to Eye Color
Hey Marcus from six months ago. You're currently standing by the window in our perpetually gray Portland living room, angling a five-month-old infant toward the meager sunlight, trying to determine if her irises are hex code #4B5320 (Army Green) or...
The Middle-of-the-Night Panic Search For Your Baby's First Tooth
I was staring at the ceiling of our Chicago apartment at 3:14 AM. The radiator was clanking. My son was gnawing on my collarbone like a starving hyena. His chin was a waterfall of drool, soaking right through my third...
Is My Baby Turning Blue Or Am I Just Sleep-Deprived And Panicking?
When we started weaning the twins, I received three distinct, entirely contradictory pieces of advice within a single twenty-four-hour period. My mother, dispensing wisdom from the 1990s, called to say, "Whatever you do, Tommy, don't give them carrots yet, they'll...
The Day a Fuzzy Yard Invader Taught Me About Triage
I was holding a lukewarm cup of chai, watching my toddler try to eat a fistful of Chicago dirt, when I saw it. A tiny, masked face peering out from under our cedar deck. It looked like a stuffed animal...