The Brutally Honest Truth About the Viral Baby Trend Wagon Myth
Itβs 98 degrees in the Target parking lot, and I'm sweating entirely through my shirt trying to aggressively shove a forty-pound cardboard box into the back of my minivan while my three-year-old licks a shopping cart handle. That box held...
The Real Rules of the Bouncy Seat (And Why They Can't Sleep In It)
I was standing in my tiny, mildew-speckled master bathroom shower at exactly 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, wearing nothing but a layer of dried overnight spit-up and deep, bone-deep exhaustion, staring through the water-spotted glass at my three-month-old son, Leo....
Is Boss Baby Back in Business Ruining My Kid? A Dad's Log
It was exactly 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my apartment smelled faintly of day-old breastmilk and sheer desperation. My wife, Sarah, had left the state for a 48-hour work conference, leaving me as the sole systems administrator for our...
My messy search for the best high chair for baby (and sanity)
It was a Tuesday in 2017, and I was sitting in my Nissan Rogue in the parking lot of a BuyBuyBaby (RIP), wearing yoga pants with a suspicious crusty stain on the left knee, crying into a lukewarm vanilla latte....
The Completely Unfiltered Guide to Buying Baby's Room Furniture
When I was pregnant with my first, my mother-in-law showed up at my house hauling an antique, drop-side wooden cradle that had been sitting in a humid East Texas attic since 1984. It smelled like mothballs and questionable structural integrity....
Decoding the chaos of a baby's pacifier without losing your mind
My mother-in-law cornered me by the diaper pail on day three of my son's life, waving a neon green chunk of silicone and declaring that if I didn't plug him up right now, he'd be a thumb-sucker until college. Twelve...
What To Do When The Baby Zombie Phase Actually Ruins Your Sleep
Listen. It was a quarter past three on a Tuesday when I realized my apartment was under a coordinated siege by two entirely different types of the undead. My husband and my older kid were huddled over an iPad in...
When your baby won't stop crying and the manuals are useless
It's 4:13 AM, and I'm bouncing on a grey exercise ball in the middle of my living room, clutching Florence, who's currently emitting a sound I can only describe as a fire engine trapped inside a very angry cat. Matilda,...
The Impossible Task of Finding a Baby Winter Hat That Stays On
We're in the parking lot of the Skokie Target. It's twelve degrees outside, which in Chicago math with the wind chill feels like negative four hundred. Leo is maybe six months old. I'm shivering in yoga pants with a hardened...