Sibling Rivalry and the Baby Jane Cast

It was exactly 11:14 PM last Tuesday, and I was sitting on my living room floor in my stained gray sweatpants, aggressively folding a mountain of tiny laundry while my husband Mark snored from the couch. I had a mug of lukewarm French roast next to my knee that I kept almost knocking over, and I was just trying to find something to watch that wouldn't require me to use my brain. Like, I just wanted some mindless background noise while I matched tiny socks that are basically the size of cotton balls. So I put on What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? because I was in this weird mood for vintage black-and-white drama, and honestly, I thought it would just be some campy 1960s Hollywood nonsense.

Oh god. I was so wrong. I was so, so wrong.

Instead of a relaxing midnight folding session, I ended up having a full-blown existential parenting crisis on my rug. If you haven't seen it, the movie is basically a terrifying masterclass in how completely toxic parenting and unchecked sibling rivalry can turn your kids into literal monsters. I was sitting there holding a tiny pair of baby leggings, staring at the screen, and all I could think about was the massive screaming match Maya and Leo had at 7 AM that morning over a blue block.

They had been screaming at each other like they were mortal enemies, and I was just standing in the kitchen chugging coffee, wondering where I went wrong. And then I watch this movie, and I'm like, well great. This is my future. They're going to end up serving each other dead rats on silver platters when they're seventy. Anyway, the point is, parenting is terrifying and classic cinema is sometimes way too triggering when you're already sleep-deprived.

The absolute audacity of the parents in this movie

Let me just rant about the whatever happened to baby jane cast for a second, specifically the child actors who play the sisters in the 1917 flashbacks. Everyone always obsesses over the real-life backstage drama between the adult leads, Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, but whatever, I literally don't care about some sixty-year-old Hollywood gossip when the real horror story is happening right there in the prologue.

So, there's this little girl, Julie Allred, who plays the spoiled vaudeville child star, Baby Jane. And then there's Gina Gillespie, who plays her sister, Blanche. And the dad—oh my god, the dad. This man is the actual villain of the entire universe. He literally stands there showering Jane with praise, buying her things, treating her like absolute royalty because she's the one bringing in the money, while he completely ignores Blanche. Like, he actually yells at Blanche for existing while handing Jane an ice cream. WHAT THE HELL.

I was so mad I threw a baby sock at the television. You watch these flashbacks, and you see the exact moment the trauma sets in. You see exactly why baby j grows up to be a deeply disturbed, abusive adult. It's not a mystery! It's just terrible, unchecked favoritism. The dad literally created a monster, and the mom just stands there looking anxious and doing absolutely nothing to stop it. I was hyperventilating just watching it.

It made me think about how easily we can inadvertently set up these weird, competitive dynamics in our own houses without even realizing it. Like, when Leo does something cute and I laugh, and Maya is standing right there watching me, absorbing the fact that her little brother is getting the attention. It's exhausting trying to monitor every single reaction you've so you don't accidentally traumatize your kids for life.

My doctor said something about this that totally freaked me out

So a few weeks ago, I was at Dr. Miller's office for Leo's regular checkup. The paper on the exam table was making that horrible crinkly sound that always makes me sweat, and Leo was actively trying to eat a plastic stethoscope, and I just kind of broke down and asked about the fighting. I was like, "They hate each other. They literally act like feral cats in a sack. Am I doing something wrong?"

Dr. Miller, who always looks like he needs a nap just as badly as I do, sort of sighed and said that siblings are basically biologically wired to compete for our resources. He framed it as this primal survival thing, where kids think attention equals survival, so if they aren't getting the most attention, their little developing brains think they're going to literally be abandoned in the woods to die. Which is a terrifying way to explain it to an already anxious mother, but I guess it makes sense.

I think I read somewhere online—maybe it was the AAP, or maybe it was just a random parenting forum at 3 AM—that you've to somehow stop comparing them to each other while also remembering to spend one-on-one time with them and definitely try not to buy one of them an ice cream cone while the other one watches in abject misery, which sounds obvious but honestly some days just surviving until bedtime is a victory.

They say you're supposed to co-watch media with older kids to help them process heavy themes, which is probably a good idea because if Maya ever watched baby jane torture her sister on screen, she would probably never sleep again and neither would I. The psychology of it's all just so murky. I never know if I'm intervening too much in their fights or not enough.

Finding toys that don't cause World War Three

So back to the 7 AM blue block incident. They were fighting over this one specific block, and it was so loud that Mark actually woke up and came downstairs looking like a confused bear. But the funny thing is, after the screaming subsided and I separated them for ten minutes, they actually ended up playing together with the rest of the set.

We have this Gentle Baby Building Block Set, and it's honestly one of the only things in our house that I genuinely love right now. Mostly because they're made of this really soft, safe rubber. Do you know how many times I've stepped on a hard wooden block in the middle of the night and almost broken my own toe? Too many times. With these, I stepped on one at 2 AM while going to get a glass of water, and it just squished under my foot. I almost cried tears of joy.

Anyway, Maya and Leo started building this weird, wobbly tower together. Maya was matching the little animal symbols, and Leo was just chewing on a block with a number 4 on it, but they were doing it together. Nobody was crying. Nobody was serving anyone a dead rat. It was a brief, shining moment of sibling harmony. The macaron colors are also weirdly soothing to look at, which is a nice bonus when your living room is completely covered in plastic crap 90% of the time.

Of course, not everything we buy works out perfectly. I bought the Panda Teether a while back because, I don't know, it looked really aesthetic on the website and I was desperate because Leo's molars were coming in and he was drooling like a mastiff. And it's fine. Like, it's totally okay. It's safe and cute and he chewed on the little bamboo part for maybe three days. But then he decided that my laptop charger was much more interesting, so now the panda just lives at the absolute bottom of my diaper bag, covered in cracker crumbs. You win some, you lose some.

If you're also desperately looking for things to keep your kids busy so they stop trying to destroy each other, you can always check out some educational toys. Or just give them a cardboard box. Honestly, whatever works for your sanity.

The organic cotton uniform of survival

So anyway, the movie is playing, Bette Davis is losing her absolute mind on screen, and I'm just sitting there folding laundry. I specifically remember I was folding this Organic Cotton Baby Bodysuit that Leo basically lives in. I'm obsessed with these onesies. When Maya was a baby, I bought all this cheap, stiff synthetic stuff that looked cute on the hanger but gave her these horrible, angry red rashes right under her chin where the fabric rubbed. It was awful.

With Leo, I switched to organic cotton, and the difference is really crazy. This specific sleeveless onesie has this envelope shoulder thing, so when he has a massive blowout—which he did yesterday, all the way up his back, right as we were trying to leave for the grocery store—I can pull it down over his shoulders instead of pulling a poop-covered shirt over his head and getting it in his hair. That alone is worth its weight in gold. Plus, the fabric gets softer every time I wash it, which is good because I wash it constantly.

I was folding it, smoothing out the little seams, and thinking about how much energy we put into keeping them physically safe and comfortable. We buy the organic cotton, we check the ingredients in their food, we baby-proof the coffee table corners so they don't crack their heads open. But the emotional stuff? The sibling dynamics? That stuff is invisible. You can't put corner guards on a toxic relationship. You just have to do your best and hope you aren't accidentally favoring one kid over the other.

Letting go of the perfect sibling fantasy

By the time the movie ended, it was like 1:30 in the morning. Mark was still asleep, the dog was snoring, and I had successfully folded the entire laundry basket. But my brain was just buzzing with all this anxiety.

I crept upstairs and peeked into the kids' rooms. Maya was sprawled out diagonally across her bed, completely hogging her blankets. Leo was in his crib, sleeping with his butt in the air like he always does. They looked so peaceful. They didn't look like future enemies. They just looked like two little kids who are trying to figure out how to share a house and a mom and a life together.

I realized that maybe I need to stop catastrophizing every single fight they've. They're going to argue. They're going to steal each other's toys. Leo is probably going to bite Maya again at some point, and Maya is going to scream at him for ruining her Lego tower. That doesn't mean we're destined for a whatever happened to baby jane situation. It just means they're normal siblings learning boundaries.

As long as I'm not actively pitting them against each other or buying one of them an ice cream while glaring at the other one, I think we're going to be okay. At least, I really hope so. Because I'm far too tired to deal with adult sibling warfare in thirty years.

If you're dealing with your own tiny feuding actors right now, maybe just take a breath, pour yourself another cup of coffee, and check out some of our sustainable baby gear to keep them safely distracted for at least five minutes while you go hide in the pantry.

The completely messy FAQ section

Is the whatever happened to baby jane cast appropriate for teenagers to watch?
Honestly, it really depends on your kid. It's rated for 13 and up, but there's zero modern gore if that's what you're worried about. It's all psychological torment, which in my opinion is way worse. If your teen is into classic cinema, it’s a masterpiece, but definitely watch it with them. There's a lot of untreated alcoholism and just really dark, abusive themes that you'll probably need to talk through so they don't get completely freaked out.

How do I stop my kids from fighting all the time?
If you find the magic answer to this, please email me immediately. But from what I've scraped together from my doctor and my own trial-and-error, a lot of it's just making sure you're not accidentally comparing them out loud. And finding toys that encourage them to honestly build things together instead of fighting over a single plastic dinosaur. Also, lots of deep breaths.

Why do experts say sibling rivalry happens in the first place?
Dr. Miller basically told me it's a primal survival instinct. Kids are wired to compete for our attention because, in caveman times, the kid with the most parental attention was the one who didn't get eaten by a bear. So when they fight over who gets to sit next to you on the couch, their tiny brains literally think their lives depend on it. It’s exhausting, but it’s biological.

Is organic cotton honestly better or is it just marketing?
I used to think it was just expensive marketing until Maya's skin broke out in those awful red rashes from synthetic fabrics. Organic cotton is grown without all those harsh pesticides, and it just breathes so much better. I noticed a massive difference with Leo's skin. It’s not just a buzzword; when you're dealing with baby eczema or just super sensitive newborn skin, it genuinely makes a huge difference in their comfort.

Should I be worried if my toddler bites their older sibling?
Oh god, Leo went through a biting phase and I thought I was raising a tiny vampire. It's totally normal, though incredibly frustrating. Toddlers have huge feelings and zero impulse control, so they just use their teeth when they can't find the words. You just have to stay calm, separate them, and protect the older sibling. It passes. Eventually. I promise.