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The hostage negotiation of the sorry baby apology milestone
The soft rubber block bounced directly off my collarbone and landed in my lukewarm coffee. It splashed onto my only clean pair of leggings. My two-year-old stood across the living room, chest heaving, waiting for the fallout. I looked over...
The actual nepo baby meaning for severely sleep-deprived parents
My mother-in-law confidently informed me over a lukewarm cup of Earl Grey that it was a highly contagious viral rash sweeping through the North London nurseries. The barista at our local overpriced coffee shop swore it was a new developmental...
Surviving the baby shark song without losing your entire mind
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting in the pediatric ICU breakroom, eating a stale protein bar, pregnant, smug, and swearing your future child will only listen to classical music and ambient nature sounds. I need you to...
So, What Is a Nepo Baby? A Parent's Guide to Everyday Privilege
It was 8:15 AM on a Saturday, pouring rain, and I was standing on the sidelines of Mayaβs under-8 soccer tryouts in my embarrassingly pill-y 2018 black Target leggings. You know, the ones that have a weird bleach stain shaped...
The truth about raising a dutch baby (and eating one)
I'm currently scraping dried egg batter off my kitchen cabinet at seven in the morning while my toddler aggressively signs for more bananas. This is the exact opposite of the tranquil, well-rested maternal ideal I had pictured when I started...
The Truth About Reborn Baby Dolls (And Why I Bought One)
I was standing in my kitchen at 7 AM, wearing yoga pants with a mysterious white stain on the knee, aggressively stirring my third coffee of the morning, when I casually mentioned to my mother-in-law that I was thinking about...
Why We Need To Talk About The Nepo Baby Meaning In Parenting
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the living room floor at two in the morning with three laptops open. You're hitting refresh on the Lincoln Park cooperative preschool waitlist portal. You think if you just email...
Why A Tiny Green Alien Explains My Entire First Year Of Fatherhood
It's 3:14 AM, and my eleven-month-old is currently trying to shove a completely intact, unpeeled banana into his left ear while maintaining unblinking, terrifying eye contact with me. I'm wearing sweatpants I haven't washed since Tuesday and a Mandalorian t-shirt...
Living With a Real Life Boss Baby: Who Is Actually in Charge?
Before the twins were born, my mother-in-law tapped her teacup and said, "Establish dominance early, Tom, or they'll walk all over you." Two days later, a bloke at the Dog & Duck assured me, "Just let 'em cry, mate, show...