That Time I Found a Baby Black Widow in My Garage Nursery Stash
I was elbow-deep in a cracked Sterilite tub, breathing in that stale, hundred-degree Texas garage air, when a little pale thing dropped out of my oldest sonβs 2T winter sweater. It didnβt look like much of anything at first. It...
What I Wish I Knew Before Buying a Bike Seat for My Baby
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the concrete floor of the garage, sweating through your favorite oversized t-shirt in this humid Texas heat, trying to decipher an instruction manual that appears to be written entirely in...
Why Your Outdoor Baby Bee Sting Panic Is Statistically Flawed
We were sitting on a patch of semi-dry grass at Laurelhurst Park, and I was holding a lukewarm pouch of what the label optimistically called baby beef and sweet potato puree. My 11-month-old son was violently refusing the spoon, slapping...
Surviving a Taylor Swift Stadium Concert With a Baby in Tow
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold linoleum floor of the laundry room at 2 AM, hiding from your snoring husband, staring at three wildly expensive stadium tickets on your phone. You're hyperventilating because your...
What You Actually Need to Know About a Baby With Red Hair Now
I was standing in the middle of aisle four at H-E-B, holding two packs of store-brand diapers and trying to calculate if I had enough energy to make it to the frozen food section for a frozen pizza. My baby...
A father's guide to a little baby's ice cream introduction
Dear Marcus from six months ago. It's me, future Marcus. You're currently sitting on the porch of our Portland rental, it's 95 degrees in August, and you're holding a dripping scoop of Salt & Straw honey lavender. The five-month-old is...
Stop Buying Tiny Suits: The Truth About Dressing Baby Boys
I'm currently staring at a giant plastic tote bin in my garage, holding a pair of stiff, mustard-yellow baby corduroy overalls that still have the tags on them. Next to them is a tiny plaid button-down shirt that feels suspiciously...
A Dad's Messy Quest for the Best Sunscreen for Babies
It's exactly 78.4 degrees at Laurelhurst Park, and I'm currently holding a pressurized aluminum can of SPF 50 like it's a live grenade. My eleven-month-old son, Leo, is squirming on the picnic blanket like I'm trying to install a malicious...
The ugly truth about that cute baby pool float you just bought
My sister-in-law's backyard in Naperville smells intensely of expensive mineral sunscreen and chlorine. It's mid-July, the humidity is oppressive, and I'm standing at the edge of the water holding a thrashing nine-month-old. My mother-in-law is hovering nearby, aggressively trying to...