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I Googled "Baby Chicks For Sale" And Now My Living Room Smells Like...
I'm currently staring at a 100-litre plastic storage tub in my hallway that's emitting a continuous, high-pitched sound, much like a smoke alarm that has somehow developed a needy personality. Inside this tub are four baby chicks. I blame Instagram,...
Finding the Best Adult Bibs for Dignity at the Dinner Table
The gravy hit her white silk blouse before I even had a chance to drop my fork. I'm sitting there at Sunday dinner, wedged between a screaming toddler and my grandmother, watching a massive brown stain spread right across her...
How to Survive a Husky and a Human Baby Without Losing Your Mind
There's a very specific type of panic that sets in when a fifty-pound sled dog tries to initiate a play-bow with a sleeping infant. You just freeze, calculating the physics of a rapidly wagging tail colliding with a soft fontanelle,...
The Brutal Reality of Mixing Tiny Puppies and Newborn Twins
I'm standing in our narrow London hallway, holding a slightly stiff hospital blanket that smells intensely of NHS-grade floor cleaner and sheer panic. Page 47 of a highly-rated parenting manual told me I should present this artifact to our terrier...
My Foolproof Baby Back Ribs Recipe for Very Exhausted Parents
It's 5:14 PM on a Thursday and I'm standing in my kitchen wearing a stained gray sweatshirt I haven't washed since Tuesday, staring at a massive slab of raw pork while Leo, who's four and currently believes he's a velociraptor,...
The Messy, Honest Truth About Getting a Baby Axolotl
It was 7:00 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen trying to pour coffee while my four-year-old oldest son shoved a piece of construction paper directly into my line of sight. On it was a crude...
Raising An Asian Baby In Rural Texas Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I was standing in my kitchen staring at my oldestβwho's now five and a walking, talking cautionary tale about what happens when you give a toddler unchecked access to YouTubeβwhen he was just a screaming newborn. My own mother was...
Surviving the Heartbreak Nobody Wants to Talk About
Don't bring a grieving mother a tuna casserole and tell her that God just needed another angel. I was standing in my kitchen, wearing the same stained sweatpants Iβd had on for three days, holding a lukewarm Pyrex dish while...
Raising Baby Kittens With Kids: The Blunt Unfiltered Truth
I'm standing in my kitchen at 3:14 in the morning, wearing yesterday's yoga pants with a questionable crusty stain on the knee, holding a bottle smaller than my own thumb. My oldest kid, who swore up and down on his...