What I Wish I Knew About Giving Babies Water Before I Panicked
It's July 2020. I'm wearing a pair of maternity bike shorts that have a mysterious, hardened yogurt stain on the left thigh, and I'm sweating through my second t-shirt of the day. My husband, Dave, is standing next to our...
Why You Can Stop Panicking About Your Bow Legged Baby
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the sticky kitchen floor at 3:14 PM in those gray sweatpants with the mysterious yogurt stain, literally holding a plastic ruler up to Leoβs calves while he tries to eat...
My messy search for the best high chair for baby (and sanity)
It was a Tuesday in 2017, and I was sitting in my Nissan Rogue in the parking lot of a BuyBuyBaby (RIP), wearing yoga pants with a suspicious crusty stain on the left knee, crying into a lukewarm vanilla latte....
How I Survived The Hunt For A Baby Sitter Without Losing My Mind
It was 11:42 PM on a Tuesday and I was wearing Dave's oversized grey college sweatpants that had a questionable bleach stain on the left knee from a laundry incident we don't discuss. I was hunched over the kitchen island,...
What to Do When You Look Outside and See a Baby Rat Near Your Kids
It was 6:15 on a freezing Tuesday morning, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing a pair of inside-out Target leggingsβyou know the ones with the side pocket that always sags?βdrinking my third espresso because Maya was going through...
The Night I Dropped a Pill (And How We Survive Meds Now)
I was wearing my husband Danβs threadbare college lacrosse t-shirt, it was 2:14 in the morning, and I was on my hands and knees with my iPhone flashlight in my mouth, frantically sweeping the kitchen floor with my bare hands....
How to execute the sorry sir not your baby boundary script
We were in the produce section of the Hawthorne Fred Meyer, right between the bruised organic honeycrisps and that terrifying misting machine that sounds like a tiny jet engine spinning up. My 11-month-old son was strapped into his stroller, chewing...
The real truth about ivf babies disadvantages and infant health
I'm staring at a glowing phone screen at 4:13 a.m. while one of my two-year-old twin daughters uses my left kidney as a trampoline. Years ago, long before these tiny terrors existed, I was staring at the exact same screen...
What Actually Is This Trump Baby Bonus Thing Anyway?
"So wait, does the government just mail us a check for a thousand bucks?" That was my husband, Dave, literally yelling from the bathroom while I was trying to pour my third cup of coffee yesterday morning. Ten minutes later...