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The Absolute Chaos of Trying to Make My Kid Wear Baby Perfume
Itβs 2:14 PM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I'm standing over my bathroom sink in maternity leggings that havenβt been washed inβactually, I really don't want to know how many daysβfrantically scrubbing a tiny, furious newborn with a wet...
Protecting Against Baby Bugs Without Losing Your Mind
My mother-in-law swore by a homemade paste of turmeric and neem oil that stained every piece of clothing we owned bright yellow. The incredibly put-together mom at our local park told me I just needed a proprietary blend of lavender...
The Big Myth About Johnson Baby Shampoo (And What I Use Now)
I was sitting on the cold, unforgiving bathroom tile in my favorite pair of ancient, bleach-stained yoga pants. It was exactly 8:14 PM on a Tuesday. Maya, who was two at the time and going through a truly unhinged phase...
To My Past Self: Troubleshooting the Coppertone Baby Dilemma
It's currently 94 degrees in Portland, and I'm hiding under a nylon pop-up canopy at Laurelhurst Park, desperately tracking my son's core temperature while he aggressively tries to eat a handful of dry woodchips. I'm writing this to you, Marcus...
The Huge Infant SPF Lie I Completely Fell For With My First Baby
It was July 2017, I was wearing these god-awful maternity jean shorts that I stubbornly refused to retire, and I was sitting on a sandy towel in Cape May, New Jersey, furiously painting my four-month-old daughter Maya with what can...
Burt's Bees Baby Sizing Is Completely Unhinged And I Love It
It was exactly 2:14 AM. I know this because the glowing red numbers on the cheap digital clock my husband insisted we keep in the nursery were burning a hole into my retinas. Maya was four months old, screaming like...
Troubleshooting Baby Rash: A Dadβs Guide to Infant Skin Bugs
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday when the flashlight from my iPhone illuminated my 11-month-old's cheek, revealing a topographic map of angry red bumps that definitely weren't there at bedtime. My wife was asleep. The baby was surprisingly chill....
Is Rosemary Safe for Babies? A Mom's Honest Story
I was staring at a twenty-four dollar bottle of "all-natural botanical" baby massage oil in my kitchen trash can at two in the morning while my oldest son, Beau, screamed bloody murder in the other room. His tiny back was...
Why finding suntan lotion for newborns ruined my beach trip
It was 10:14 AM on a Tuesday in mid-July and I was already on my third iced coffee, which at that point tasted mostly like sand and sheer exhaustion. I was standing on a crowded beach in Florida wearing thick...