Magazine
How are baby carrots made: The paranoid mom's guide
I was standing in my Chicago kitchen at two in the afternoon holding a plastic bag of orange nubs, just staring blindly at my phone. My six-month-old was sitting in the high chair, banging a silicone spoon against his tray,...
Unpacking the hit me baby one more time lyrics at 3 AM
It was 3:14 AM in Chicago. The wind was doing that thing where it aggressively rattles the apartment windows, and my toddler was running a mild fever from an ear infection. I was operating on maybe three hours of broken...
How I Survived the Great Highland Cow Baby Obsession of 2024
I'm currently sitting in the corner of a semi-detached flat in Zone 3 London, making intense eye contact with a six-foot plush Scottish bovine. It has more hair than I do, takes up roughly the same square footage as a...
The High Chair Mistakes I Made (So You Don't Have To)
I was sitting on my kitchen floor at 11:15 PM on a Tuesday, wearing sweatpants that smelled aggressively like sour milk, using one of my husbandβs old electric toothbrush heads to scrub pulverized sweet potato out of the ruffled seams...
System Reboot: Surviving Year One With An HIE Diagnosis
The digital display above the plastic incubator read 33.5 degrees Celsius. I stood there in a yellow isolation gown that was slightly too short for my arms, staring at a screen that looked exactly like a 1990s MS-DOS prompt. I...
The Hey Baby Reality Check For Every Exhausted New Parent
It was 3:14 in the morning and I was standing over a crib trying to negotiate with a swaddled infant who looked like a very angry burrito. The white noise machine was turned up to a volume that probably violated...
What I Wish I Knew About Finding Healthy Baby Diapers That Actually...
I'm looking at you right now from six months in the future. You're sitting on the cold bathroom tile at three in the morning. It's February in Chicago, the wind is howling, and the changing pad looks like a literal...
That Polo G Lyric Sent Me Down a Terrifying Parenting Rabbit Hole
I was elbow-deep in a tub of Sudocrem, trying to wrestle two screaming two-year-old girls into their nighttime nappies, when a playlist I hadnβt updated since 2019 shuffled onto a track by Polo G. I wasn't really listeningβI was mostly...
The Reality of the Have A Baby With Me Daniel Caesar Lyrics
I was on my hands and knees in our South London flat, using a blunt butter knife to chisel hardened Weetabix off the skirting board, when Spotifyβs algorithm decided to serve up a heavy dose of R&B. The song sounded...