Magazine
Why Don't You Want Me Like I Want You Baby? (The Clingy Phase)
I was standing at the kitchen island yesterday, attempting to eat a cold piece of toast while packing up a stack of orders for my Etsy shop, when my grandmother dropped the classic line she always reserves for moments of...
What Drake And Sophie Taught Me About Co-Parenting A Toddler
Dear Priya of last October. You're currently sitting on the cold bathroom tiles at 3 am. The baby is finally asleep in his crib after an hour of triage-level screaming, and you're stress-scrolling through celebrity gossip on your phone in...
Why I Finally Caved to the Organic Baby Face Balm Craze
Itβs Tuesday, somewhere around 3 PM, and I'm currently pinned to the nursery rug by a twenty-four-pound toddler who's thrashing her head side-to-side like a cornered badger to avoid the muslin cloth Iβm wielding. Her twin sister is watching from...
Billionaire Custody Drama: What Real Parents Can Actually Learn
I spent my first two months as a mom trying to run my household like an intensive care unit. I had spreadsheets for dirty diapers and laminated feeding schedules taped to the fridge. It was a disaster. I was exhausted,...
Why I Finally Stopped Stressing About Enfamil Baby Formula
The absolute biggest myth in modern parenting is that if you aren't illegally importing some $40-a-can organic goat's milk concoction translated from German on a sketchy third-party website, you're basically poisoning your child. I know this because seven years ago,...
Dear Past Me: Just Buy The Eufy Baby Monitor And Go To Sleep
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. It's 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. You're sitting on the cold hexagon tiles of the upstairs bathroom because it's the only place in the house where...
How to Actually Troubleshoot Your Way to an Fantastic Baby
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, the Portland rain was actively mocking my sanity against the bedroom window, and my 11-month-old was throwing a massive runtime error. I had tried the bouncing walk, the aggressive shushing, the weird yoga-ball-hip-sway...
The Unexpected Drama of Having a Hip Dysplasia Baby
The six-week checkup at your local NHS GP surgery is supposed to be a relatively victorious milestone. You have kept a human alive for a month and a half, you're operating on a cumulative total of eleven minutes of sleep,...
Why My Kid's Baby Dino Obsession Is Ruining My Life (But Not Really)
It was a Tuesday at like, 7:14 AM. I was standing in the kitchen wearing my black leggings that have a mystery yogurt stain on the left knee, holding a mug of coffee that had already gone lukewarm because I'd...