Magazine
When Britney Spears ...Baby One More Time Ruined Our Tuesday
The snow outside our Chicago apartment was coming down completely sideways. It was day three of being trapped indoors with a 6-month-old who had abruptly decided that afternoon naps were a biological construct he no longer believed in. I was...
Raising A Brooklyn Baby Without Losing Your Mind Or Floor Space
Sitting on the floor of my sister's fourth-floor walk-up in Park Slope, I was aggressively sweating while trying to collapse a luxury stroller with one hand. I was holding a screaming six-month-old in the other. Someone in the apartment below...
The Burn Baby Burn Reality Check: Why Your Coffee is the Enemy
I'm currently standing in the exact centre of my kitchen, holding a mug of aggressively hot black coffee directly above my head like I'm presenting Simba to the animal kingdom, while two toddlers attempt to scale my pyjama trousers. This...
Why I Stopped Trusting the Chinese Conception Chart for 2025
Sitting at my sticky kitchen island with my mom back in 2019, I was twenty weeks pregnant, sweating through my favorite maternity shirt, and squinting at a printed grid she brought over from her Tuesday church group. She had two...
The 2024 Chinese Gender Calendar: My Costly First Trimester Mistake
When I was six weeks pregnant with my oldest, I was standing in my kitchen eating a dry piece of toast, trying to hold down my breakfast, when the unsolicited advice started rolling in. My mom walked in, took one...
Surviving the Kitchen Disco: The Truth About Your Dancing Baby
Before the twins arrived, I received three distinct, entirely contradictory pieces of unsolicited advice regarding music and infants. The frighteningly intense instructor at our antenatal class warned us that bouncing a child incorrectly to a beat could permanently traumatize their...
Reading Detransition Baby Changed How I Look at Modern Motherhood
I'm literally sitting on my hideous green velvet sofa at 5:43 AM, aggressively scrubbing a splotch of hardened spit-up off the crinkly plastic dust jacket of a library book. I'm wearing my husband Markβs oversized college sweatpantsβthe ones with a...
The Josh Naylor Playoff Baby Situation and MLB Paternity Leave
Don't attempt to fix a P1 production bug while your wife's contractions are exactly three minutes apart. I thought I could deploy a quick hotfix from the triage room at Providence Portland while we waited for a doctor. My wife,...
Did Simone Biles Have A Baby? Fake News & Intrusive Questions
My phone screen was the only source of light in the nursery, casting an eerie blue glow over Twin A's aggressively snotty face at fourteen minutes past three in the morning. I was trapped in that specific, hallucinatory layer of...