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Overlev TikTok-trenden Pretty Little Baby med Connie Francis
Klokken var 03:14 på en tirsdag, og temperaturen på børneværelset lå på lune 20,8 grader. Det ved jeg, fordi jeg tjekker logfilerne på den smarte termostat, når jeg ikke kan sove, hvilket er altid. Min kone stod midt i rummet,...
Sandheden om at købe et Baby G-Shock-ur til dit barn
Det var præcis klokken 15:14 på en tirsdag, og jeg stod midt i mit køkken i yogabukser med en yderst tvivlsom yoghurtplet på knæet, mens jeg desperat forsøgte at save mig igennem en tyk, pink urrem af resin med en...
Sandheden om de bedste babyalarmer (og hvad der faktisk virker)
Klokken 02.14 en tirsdag nat stirrede jeg på en lysende fem-tommers skærm, fuldt overbevist om, at min datter var blevet erstattet af et victoriansk spøgelse. Nattesynet på vores massivt markedsførte og frygtindgydende dyre smart-kamera havde forvandlet min toårige tvilling, Maya,...
Det store Baby Shark-dilemma: Fejlfinding af babys skærmvaner
Min svigermor sværgede på, at en bestemt skriggul video var den eneste måde at genstarte ("hard-resette") et raserianfald på. Min seniorudvikler pingede mig på Slack og påstod, at den samme video permanent ændrer hjernens nervebaner. Og fyren, der steamede havremælk...
Hvorfor jeg stoppede med at fejlfinde min babys vækstkurver
Det knitrende papir på briksen var allerede flænset, da dr. Evans trådte ind med sin tablet. Baby G, der var helt nøgen bortset fra en meget tung ble, udførte voldsomme cykelspark mod mit bryst. Den digitale vægt i hjørnet havde...
Biograf-betatesten: Med en 11-måneders baby i biffen
Jeg stod under den dryppende baldakin foran Hollywood Theatre her i Portland og stirrede på decibel-appen på mit Apple Watch, mens min 11 måneder gamle datter Maya ihærdigt forsøgte at tygge lynlåsen af min regnjakke. Min kone, Sarah, stod ved...
Det store baby-doppler-projekt: Hvorfor jeg droppede at overvåge hjertelyden
Min mor fortalte mig, at hvis jeg bare pressede pappen fra en toiletrulle mod min kones mave, kunne jeg høre barnets hjerteslag helt perfekt. En seniorudvikler i mit team sværgede til at købe en kasseret, klinisk ultralydsscanner på eBay og...
Baby Buddha Brystpumpe: Derfor er denne lille enhed en ægte vakuum-motor
Det er tirsdag klokken 2 om natten. Min kone sidder i ammestolen og holder dette slanke, sorte plastikrektangel, der ærligt talt er mindre end min smartphone. Vi købte den, fordi internetfora lovede, at det var en "sød" og "yderst bærbar"...
Hvorfor søgefælden "Baby Alien Fan Bus" ødelagde min tirsdag morgen
iPad'en var smurt ind i en blanding af savl og noget, jeg inderligt håbede var Marmite, og den lå faretruende tæt på kanten af køkkenøen. Klokken var 6:15 en tirsdag morgen, det regnede på den der aggressivt vedholdende London-måde, og...