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Forstå 'Grædende baby'-memet: Et brev til mit tidligere jeg
Kl. 03:14. Apple Watch'et på mit håndled vibrerer og advarer mig aggressivt om, at det omgivende støjniveau har nået 95 decibel – hvilket nogenlunde svarer til at stå ved siden af en benzindreven græsslåmaskine. Støjkilden befinder sig præcis 35 centimeter...
Hvorfor jeg synger Mariah Careys 'Always Be My Baby' som godnatsang kl. 3 om natten
Det var klokken 3:14 en tirsdag nat i 2017, og jeg svedte tran i en grå David Bowie-t-shirt med noget tvivlsomt gult gylp indtørret på venstre skulder, mens jeg desperat forsøgte at huske, hvad man egentlig skal købe, hvis den...
Et desperat brev til mig selv: Om at overleve spædbørnstiden
Kære Tom for seks måneder siden, Du sidder lige nu på kanten af sofaen kl. 03:14 iført en slåbrok, der lugter voldsomt af sur mælk og noget, jeg kun kan beskrive som biologisk fortvivlelse. Den ene tvilling hænger over din...
En søvnvejleder reddede min forstand (og mit ægteskab)
Klokken var 3:14 en tirsdag nat. Jeg havde Daves plettede hyggebukser fra studietiden på, ammede min fire måneder gamle søn Leo for syvende gang den nat, og stirrede på min lysende telefonskærm med øjne, der føltes, som om de var...
Nattepanik: Når baby ryster på hovedet fra side til side
Du stirrer på de grynede, grønne billeder på babyalarmen klokken to om natten. Dit barn kaster sig aggressivt og rytmisk rundt på madrassen. Det ligner, at de prøver at starte en moshpit i deres sovepose. Det strammer for brystet. Du...
Historien om den britiske cheerleader-baby er vores værste mareridt som mor
Lad os bare aflive den største og farligste løgn, sygeplejerskerne stikker dig sammen med de der kæmpe nettrusser, når du bliver udskrevet. Den absolut største myte om moderskabet er, at dit "moderinstinkt" er en slags magisk, usynligt kraftfelt, der vil...
Midnats-origami-krisen: Et brev til mit tidligere svøbe-jeg
Kære fortids-Tom, Lige nu sidder du på kanten af en plastikbetrukket madras på fødegangen på St Thomas' Hospital og stirrer på en skrigende, rødmosset lille kartoffel ved navn Alice, mens hendes tvillingesøster, Lucy, på en eller anden måde allerede er...