The Absolute Truth About What A Baby Booter Actually Means
It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged between a cot and a towering pile of unsorted laundry, typing with my less dominant thumb while one of the twins uses my left shoulder as a surprisingly absorbent drool rag. I'm simply trying to...
The Zika Baby Panic: What My Pediatrician Actually Told Me
I was staring at the smeared remains of a mosquito on my laptop screen when Sarah walked into the home office, holding our eleven-month-old like a football and looking highly alarmed. We were supposed to fly to a wedding in...
The Truth About Crocheted Baby Blankets (And Keeping Toes Attached)
It was 2am, roughly six weeks before the twins were due, and I was sweating profusely over a plastic hook and a spool of aggressively yellow yarn. I had somehow convinced myself that real fatherhood began with mastering basic patterns...
A Dad's Messy Quest for the Best Sunscreen for Babies
It's exactly 78.4 degrees at Laurelhurst Park, and I'm currently holding a pressurized aluminum can of SPF 50 like it's a live grenade. My eleven-month-old son, Leo, is squirming on the picnic blanket like I'm trying to install a malicious...
The Beanie Baby Ty Debate: Why My 90s Toys Stay In The Attic
I was sitting cross-legged on the splintery plywood of my mom's Texas attic, sweat pooling at the base of my neck while I tried to organize boxes of my old high school junk. My mom, who firmly believes every piece...
Why those stiff miniature adult sneakers are ruining baby feet
We were at Maggie Daley Park, right in the middle of a brutal Chicago November, and my son was bleeding from his mouth. I'd dressed him in these incredibly expensive, highly structured miniature basketball shoes. They looked exactly like my...
Why Getting A Baby Turtle Is Actually A Terrible Idea For Kids
My index finger is pressed against the remarkably smudged glass of a terrarium at a strip-mall pet store in Beaverton, desperately trying to explain the concept of a "shell" to an 11-month-old who's currently attempting to eat my shoelaces. It...
Dear Jess: Please Stop Panicking About That Prickly Baby Rose Bush
Dear Jess from six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. You're standing at the kitchen window, staring out at the sweltering Texas yard with a cup of coffee that went cold three hours ago. You’ve got a...
The Day a Fuzzy Yard Invader Taught Me About Triage
I was holding a lukewarm cup of chai, watching my toddler try to eat a fistful of Chicago dirt, when I saw it. A tiny, masked face peering out from under our cedar deck. It looked like a stuffed animal...