Why Infant Silicone Replaced Every Plastic Bowl In My House
I was sitting on my kitchen floor at two in the morning, staring at a warped plastic breast pump flange floating in a pot of boiling water. It had melted just enough to look like modern art. The smell of...
The Utter Chaos of Trying to Dress a Very Small and Angry Newborn
Before the twins arrived, I was cornered at a family gathering and given three entirely contradictory pieces of advice regarding infant wardrobes. My mother-in-law insisted on knitted cardigans with actual, functional miniature buttons (a stylistic choice I'm still unpacking with...
Surviving loud baby gifts for boys and what parents actually want
It was 2:14 in the morning on a Tuesday. I was standing in the dark hallway of our Chicago apartment, holding a baby who had finally stopped crying after forty-five minutes of unexplained misery. The silence was thick and fragile....
Why I Tossed That Amber Teething Necklace Straight in the Trash
I was sitting in the nursery rocking chair at three in the morning with a baby who had completely saturated his third onesie of the night with pure drool. My oldest son—who's basically the walking, talking cautionary tale for every...
Was ziehe ich meinem baby an? A very tired mom's clothing guide
It was 3:17 AM, and I was standing in front of the hallway thermostat wearing Dave’s stained Ohio State college hoodie, holding a screaming seven-week-old Maya. The digital display said 71 degrees. I was sweating. Maya was sweating, mostly because...
Data-Obsessed Dad Review: The Truth About the Pampers Club App
It's 3:14 AM, the ambient temperature in the nursery is exactly 68.5 degrees, and I've a small LED flashlight gripped firmly between my teeth. I'm trying to smooth out a crinkled plastic wrapper from a fresh sleeve of Swaddlers so...
Dear past Priya: The unapologetic guide to kinder kleider
You're currently pinned to the nursery floor. Your toddler is starfish-spread across the rug, screaming because his green pants feel too spicy today. You're sweating through your scrub top, twenty minutes late for your shift at Rush, staring at a...
Debugging Baby Winter Temperature: A Dad’s Layering Logic
We were twenty-two minutes into the deployment phase of leaving the house, standing in our freezing Portland driveway, when the entire system crashed. I had just spent a quarter of an hour wrestling my 11-month-old son into a heavily insulated,...
A Letter to Past Jess About Finding a Quality Kids Boutique
Dear Jess from last October. I'm currently staring at a giant black trash bag sitting in the hallway that's full of neon, plastic-feeling shirts that somehow shrank three sizes in a single wash, and pants where the knees blew out...