The ultimate teething necklace for mum (and dad's collarbone)
It's exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, the ambient temperature of the nursery is locked at 68.5 degrees, and I'm sweating entirely through my vintage Portland Timbers t-shirt. The baby is currently thrashing in my arms, his fingernails digging into...
The truth about surviving winter with a toddler in a chunky sweater
The wind off Lake Michigan was doing that thing where it physically hurts your face, and I was losing a wrestling match with a five-point harness. My son was wearing this massive, beautiful, hand-knit chunky sweater his Dadi had mailed...
Why I Finally Bought a Montessori Jungle Gym (And If It's Worth It)
"Get down from the television stand before you crack your head open and I've to explain to the ER nurse why you've a volume knob imprinted on your forehead." That was my Tuesday morning, shouted over the sound of the...
A letter to past me about teething jewellery for mums
Dear Marcus of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the beige nursery rug at 3:14 AM. The thermostat is set to exactly 68.5 degrees. Sarah is attempting to nurse the baby, actively wincing because a tiny, razor-sharp fingernail is...
The 11-month beta test of our bamboo crib blanket
3:14 AM. The Nanit camera app says the nursery is exactly 69.4 degrees, but when I reach into the bassinet, my daughter's neck feels like a laptop running too many Chrome tabs. She's sticky. She's thrashing. She's three months old...
The Honest Truth About Newborn Short Sleeve Onesies And Blowouts
My oldest son, Hunter—bless his heart, he was my practice child—was exactly four days old when he projectile vomited partially digested breastmilk directly into the hood of a tiny, forty-five-dollar bear-eared sweater my great-aunt bought him. I remember standing in...
The Great Baby Bowl Delusion: What I Expected vs What Works
It was a Tuesday in 2017, and I was sitting on my kitchen floor wearing a gray nursing tank that smelled vaguely of sour milk, crying over a puddle of pulverized sweet potato. Leo was six months old. He was...
The Engineering of Baby Fall Clothes: A Portland Dad's Guide
7:14 AM. The air in our Portland backyard smells like wet pine needles and coffee. It's exactly 48 degrees outside, but the weather app promises it'll hit a balmy 71 by three o'clock. I'm standing on the porch staring at...
Dear Past Me: The Brutal Truth About That Knitted Newborn Outfit
You're currently standing in the maternity ward at St. Thomas' Hospital, desperately trying to fold a flailing, furious five-pound infant into a miniature Aran jumper while a midwife named Brenda watches you with undisguised pity. You're sweating. The baby is...