The Great Silicone Panic and What Goes In My Twins' Mouths
I was standing in the middle of our cramped London kitchen, clutching a mint green weaning spoon, when the conflicting advice reached a deafening crescendo. My mother-in-law had just confidently declared over FaceTime that anything squishy was inherently toxic and...
How I Debugged My Baby's Wardrobe And Switched To Bundles
It's 3:14 AM. I'm holding a pair of miniature corduroy pants that possess zero stretch, trying to thread an actively thrashing 11-month-old's leg into a fabric tube the diameter of a hot dog. He is screaming. I'm sweating. My wife,...
My Messy Journey Finding Gender Neutral Crib Bedding That Works
I'm currently sitting on the floor of what used to be my home office, holding a tiny, stripped Allen wrench, surrounded by a mountain of highly gendered, hyper-specific baby textiles. It's midnight, my wife Sarah is asleep, and I've just...
Why the Haakaa style silicone teether finally ended my 3am nightmare
I'm standing at the kitchen sink at 3:14 in the morning, wearing a dressing gown that smells faintly of sour milk and despair, aggressively attacking a tiny nylon mesh bag with an old toothbrush. In the background, Maya is wailing...
Why I Ditched Footies for a Newborn Long Sleeve Romper
It was three in the morning in our drafty Chicago apartment, and I was holding a screaming, poop-covered infant while trying to align what felt like eighty-four tiny metal snaps on a rigid fleece footie. My fingers were trembling, my...
Decoding the Organic Baby Boy Jumpsuit: A Tired Dad's Field Notes
Dear Marcus from six months ago. Right now, you're standing over the changing table at 3:14 AM. You're sweating in the drafty Portland winter air. Leo is screaming with the exact pitch and intensity of a dial-up modem trying to...
The Catastrophic Christening That Sold Me On Spanish Baby Clothes
The great christening disaster of last October began not with a dropped cake or a forgotten prayer book, but with a synthetic ruffle. We were sitting in the slightly damp function room of a local gastropub, attempting to celebrate my...
The Truth About Why I Finally Caved and Bought a Mitt Teether
It was three in the morning, the floorboards in our old Texas farmhouse were freezing, and I had just stepped directly onto a plastic giraffe that was completely slick with baby spit. My oldest son, Carter, was four months old...
Dear Past Me: The Absolute Messy Truth About Rock Babykleidung
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the Target parking lot with the AC blasting because it’s ungodly hot, ignoring your steering wheel which is completely sticky because your iced oat milk latte just aggressively leaked...