Baby Blanket Size: A Messy, Exhausted Guide to Getting It Right
I was standing in my kitchen wearing my absolutely tragic gray maternity joggers, holding my third cup of violently lukewarm coffee, when I realized I was drowning in conflicting advice. I was pregnant with Leo, my first, and three different...
When Can I Know the Sex of the Baby? A Data-Driven Dad's Guide
I was sitting in a dimly lit, heavily sanitized room in downtown Portland, staring at a monitor that looked like a broken television from 1994, trying to parse the pixelated static to figure out if I was having a boy...
The impossible physics of keeping baby socks on kicking feet
At 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, I found myself on my hands and knees in the nursery, using my iPhone flashlight to hunt for a microscopic piece of gray fabric. My eleven-month-old son was asleep in his crib, oblivious to...
The Honest Truth About Newborn Floor Time and Baby Play Mats
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the Target parking lot in your yoga pants with the hole in the crotch, violently tapping your steering wheel while Googling whether cheap foam floor tiles cause neurological damage....
Cosas Necesarias Para Un Recien Nacido: A Mom's Honest Guide
I was thirty-four weeks pregnant with my oldest, Hunter, sitting in a nest of packing peanuts on the nursery floor while my husband tried to decipher the instruction manual for an electric wipe warmer. I was sweating through my maternity...
Debugging Mealtime: The Hunt for Non Toxic Baby Plates
I was standing in our kitchen at 6:15 AM on a Tuesday, holding a steaming "eco-friendly" bamboo baby plate that suddenly smelled exactly like the motherboard I accidentally fried during a college hackathon. My 11-month-old son, Leo, was banging his...
How I survived the детски машинки invasion in our living room
The exact moment I realized my living room had been permanently rezoned for industrial use was at 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. I was walking barefoot to the kitchen to fix a bottle, half asleep, when my heel came down...
Surviving the 3AM Drool Fest: The Quest for a Safe Cold Teether
The blue light of the freezer illuminated my despair at precisely 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. Behind me, from the nursery, emanated a twin-stereo wailing that sounded less like human infants and more like a flock of seagulls fighting over...
Dear past Priya: The Mattel distribution delusion was a mistake
I'm staring at a municipal zoning map of Cook County at three in the morning with half a cold samosa in my hand, trying to figure out if our detached garage qualifies as a commercial loading dock. This is where...