The Reality of Putting Your Baby in Old Hand-Me-Downs
My mother handed me a cardboard box that smelled distinctly of mothballs and aggressive potpourri right after my twenty-week ultrasound. We were sitting at her kitchen table in the suburbs. She pushed the box across the laminate counter with the...
Why Most Plastic Backyard Toys Are Trash (And What Actually Lasts)
It was three o'clock on a Tuesday in late July, it was roughly a hundred and two degrees in the shade, and I was standing in my backyard holding a piece of jagged neon green plastic that used to be...
The strickanleitung baby delusion and what I got totally wrong
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday in November 2017, and I was sitting on my living room rug in my husband's stained UCLA hoodie, crying over a bamboo knitting needle. I was seven months pregnant with Leo, my ankles...
Why I Stopped Buying the T Shirt Vintage Trend for My Babies
Let me set the scene for y'all. I'm standing in my laundry room at 11 PM on a Tuesday, up to my elbows in a bucket of warm saltwater and baking soda, trying to aggressively massage a 1989 Ninja Turtles...
Surviving cold nights: winter sleeping bag for newborn babies
It was two in the morning during that freak Texas freeze a few years back, and I was standing over my oldest son Jackson’s bassinet with my bare hand hovering an inch from his nose, just praying to feel a...
The absurd reality of getting your baby a Pampers modelling gig
We were at a deeply depressing soft play centre in Croydon, inhaling the scent of damp socks and despair, when a woman with aggressive blonde highlights leaned over the ball pit to tell me my twin girls were "absolute angels."...
The Thameslink Blowout: Surviving the Baby Bodysuit Trap
We were somewhere between East Croydon and London Bridge when the smell hit. A dense, sulphuric cloud that instantly cleared the priority seating area of commuters and left me alone with a double pram. Twin A was grinning the gummy,...
Bedruckte Baby Strampler: Troubleshooting the Custom Romper
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was using my iPhone flashlight to inspect the inner thighs of my screaming eleven-month-old. Leo was wearing a custom printed "Future Coder - Loading 50%" romper that my brother had proudly...
The truth about a baby body bedruckt for sensitive skin
There's always that one specific moment at every baby shower. The tissue paper gets pulled back, the entire room lets out a collective sigh, and the mom-to-be holds up a tiny white shirt with something like "Future Boss" stamped across...