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Baby Shower Invitations: The Brutal Truth About Modern Stationery
I'm currently using a dull butter knife to scrape dried, crusty hummus off a piece of 600gsm letterpress cardstock. It's an RSVP card that my two-year-old twin daughters, Florence and Matilda, managed to intercept before I could tally the final...
The 3 AM Breaking Point and the Truth About Shaken Baby Syndrome
There's a very specific frequency of noise that two eight-week-old humans can achieve simultaneously, and I'm fairly certain it violates several international treaties. It was a Tuesday, somewhere around 3:14 in the morning, and I was pacing the hallway of...
Why bringing a baby to a Lil Baby concert is a terrible idea
My cousin Neha spent three days hovering over her laptop trying to score lil baby concert tickets. She finally secured two floor seats for the lil baby concert atlanta stop, then casually texted me a screenshot of her cart with...
Dear Past Marcus: You Need a Baby Bjorn Bouncer Immediately
Past Marcus, it's me. You from six months in the future. You're currently standing in the kitchen of our Portland apartment at 3:14 AM. The baby is five weeks old. It's raining outside, obviously. You're trying to rock him while...
Surviving the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps With Three Under Five
I was sitting on the nursery floor at 2:14 AM with my oldest, staring at a $400 emergency room bill for what turned out to be entirely normal teething pain, when I realized we were financially drowning. He was screaming,...
The Great Registry Meltdown and the Weird Return of Buybuy Baby
I was twenty-four weeks pregnant, sitting in the sweltering heat of my Ford F-150 outside a suburban strip mall, ugly crying into a half-eaten sleeve of saltines. It was July in Texas, my ankles had officially merged with my calves,...
Raising A Baby Boy: Surviving The Chaos And Finding Cute Clothes
When I was eight months pregnant with my oldest—the child who's now officially my daily cautionary tale—I got three distinct pieces of advice in the span of one afternoon. The lady at the post office told me boys are emotionally...
Dear Priya: The newborn beach outfit you actually need
You're currently standing on Oak Street Beach. You're sweating through your linen button-down. Your three-month-old is screaming a pitch usually reserved for the NICU triage desk. And that expensive white eyelet romper you bought? It's covered in seagull droppings, damp...
The Real Reason My Babies Live in Sleeveless Summer Bodysuits
I was standing next to a kiddie pool in my sister-in-law’s backyard, sweat pooling entirely too fast in my nursing bra, staring down at my firstborn son who looked like a boiled hot dog. It was the Fourth of July...