Magazine

An exhausted dad sitting on a sofa looking at two swaddled newborns.

Dear Tom: A guide to surviving the very weird baby alien phase

Dear Tom, You're currently sitting on the edge of a spectacularly uncomfortable plastic mattress in the maternity ward at St Thomas' Hospital, staring into a perspex box containing two squirming, purple, vernix-covered creatures. They look less like the cherubic infants...

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Baby in a soft green organic cotton long sleeve romper playing on a rug

A Nurse's Guide to the Infant Holiday Wardrobe Trap

My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last December holding a miniature polyester tuxedo complete with a clip-on bowtie and tiny suspenders. She fully expected my four-month-old to wear this structural engineering marvel to our family dinner. I spent five...

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A messy pile of organic cotton yarn next to a half-finished crochet baby project.

Dear Past Jess: The Brutal Truth About Crochet Baby Blankets

You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery surrounded by fifty dollars worth of mustard yellow yarn, crying because you dropped a stitch four rows back. I know this because I was you exactly six months ago, hugely pregnant...

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Folded organic cotton baby strampler on a wooden changing table next to baby essentials

The 3 AM Blowout: Finding A Baby Strampler That Actually Works

It was exactly 3:14 AM when the warmth hit my forearm. I was standing in the dark, swaying slightly, trying to burp a three-week-old infant who felt entirely composed of liquid and rage. The warmth was yellow, mustard-scented, and rapidly...

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A dad looking confused while holding knitting needles and tangled merino wool.

Why I Attempted Babydecke Stricken (And Almost Lost My Mind)

My mother-in-law slapped a skein of neon acrylic on our kitchen island and told me it was indestructible. Three hours later, the guy at the local Portland yarn shop looked at me like I'd asked to poison the water supply...

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Exhausted mother laughing on floor surrounded by baby boxes

The Tous Baby Consumer Trap: What I Wish I Knew Six Months Ago

Hey Jess. You're currently sitting cross-legged on the linoleum floor of the Target baby aisle, roughly seven months pregnant with baby number three, crying over whether to buy a sixty-dollar wipe warmer that has a built-in nightlight and Bluetooth speaker....

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A mother holding her newborn baby in a hospital room

Why nobody warns you about ugly babies and how to survive them

I spent four hours in the maternity ward trying to find an Instagram filter that would make my son look less like a bruised, angry potato. I know we aren't supposed to say that out loud. You're supposed to weep...

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Tired dad in Portland holding an 11-month-old baby and a coffee mug.

She's Having a Baby: A Clueless Dad's Guide to Newborn Survival

Don't pack an extension cord, a multi-port USB hub, and three different bluetooth speakers in the hospital bag. This is my first and most critical piece of advice. I was standing in our Portland living room with a color-coded spreadsheet...

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Exhausted dad looking at his phone in a dark room while a new born baby sleeps in a bassinet.

Total System Crash: Troubleshooting Our New Born Baby on Night Four

It’s 3:14 AM on our fourth night home, and I'm standing over the bassinet holding my phone flashlight like an idiot, trying to count the chest rises of a 7-pound human. My wife is asleep for the first time in...

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