Surviving the "Kill Me Baby" Phase Without Losing Your Mind
It's 3:14 in the morning and I'm standing barefoot in the kitchen, perfectly balanced on a rogue piece of Duplo that's currently attempting to pierce my heel bone. Twin A is upstairs executing a flawless impression of a faulty car...
Navigating the Overwhelming Baby Industry Without Losing Your Mind
I'm currently staring at a mountain of mismatched Paw Patrol socks on my living room floor, trying to fold laundry before my toddler wakes up, and my phone just buzzed with a notification from a parenting app I forgot I...
Why the Bhad Babie Only Fans Era Keeps This Twin Dad Awake
The bluish glow of my phone was beautifully illuminating a fresh, crusty patch of spit-up on my left shoulder at 3:14 AM when the algorithm decided I desperately needed to know about a teenager's multi-million dollar adult content empire. One...
Why Your Baby Won't Stop Crying (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)
It was 4:13 AM on a Tuesday. I know this because my phone was illuminated on the kitchen counter, showing a weird crying baby gif my husband Dave had just texted me from the next room in a sleep-deprived delirium....
Why Your Strict Baby Sleep Schedule Is A Complete Disaster
It was three in the morning on a Tuesday, and I was rage-scrolling a spreadsheet I had color-coded for my six-week-old son's naps. He was in the bassinet next to me, screaming like I had just insulted his ancestors, completely...
The "Baby Jane" Effect: Surviving the Psychological Thriller of Par...
It's 3:14 AM, the nursery is exactly 69.4 degrees according to my three separate thermometers, and outside my window, the Portland rain sounds like static. I'm sitting cross-legged on the rug, barely breathing, watching the chest of my 11-month-old daughter...
Decoding The Postpartum Truth In Go Baby Justin Bieber Lyrics
It's 3:17 AM in Chicago. The radiator in my pre-war apartment is hissing, and I'm swaying in the dark with a reflux-prone fourteen-month-old draped over my shoulder. I'm trying to keep my sanity intact. In my right earbud, I'm listening...
Dear Past Me: Why Finding Your Baby Gang Is Actually Survival
Tuesday. 9:14 AM. You're sitting in the driver's seat of the Subaru outside Target, right? You're wearing the black Lululemons that have that weird, crusty yogurt stain on the left thigh because Leo decided to wipe his face on you...
The Huda Baby Daddy Drama, Digital Scars, and Real Co-Parenting
I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub at three in the morning. The ceramic tiles were freezing, but my toddler had finally collapsed against my collarbone after a three-hour marathon of teething-induced crying. I had my phone brightness...