What the Wendy Ortiz baby daddy drama gets right about parenting
The screen brightness on my phone is turned all the way down to a dull gray. Outside, the Chicago winter wind is doing that thing where it sounds like a dying animal against the windowpanes. It's two in the morning....
When the 'he was molested as a baby boy polo g song' trend hit
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're sitting on the living room rug right now watching your son play with a wooden block. You've got your phone in your left hand. You're about to post that video of him smearing...
The Halle Bailey Baby Guide to Setting Firm Internet Boundaries
I was standing near the NHS hospital vending machine, running entirely on stale Wotsits and pure adrenaline, when I made my first catastrophic parenting error. Instead of texting my mum a deeply unflattering, slightly terrifying photo of my newborn twins...
What is the baby boo challenge? (And why I nearly called 999)
It’s 7:14 am. I’m currently wearing what used to be a relatively clean grey t-shirt, now aggressively Jackson Pollock-ed with mashed banana and something I strongly suspect is yesterday’s sweet potato. The twins, Maya and Lily, are simultaneously screaming because...
Why I Googled "Baby Boi Carti" And Panicked About My Kids' Ears
It was Tuesday, 4:12 PM, and I was standing in the kitchen wearing my "bad day" sweatpants—the ones with the mystery yogurt stain on the left knee that I absolutely refuse to wash out because it feels like a monument...
The Autocomplete Trap And Keeping Kids Off The Weird Internet
My phone slipped out of my hand and hit the kitchen tile at exactly 2:14 p.m. yesterday. I was trying to type baby doll into a search bar to find a birthday gift for my niece. The internet, in its...
Searching for a Baby Girl Film? Read This First
My mom swears that propping me up in front of a Little Mermaid VHS was the only way she survived cooking dinner in 1993, my mother-in-law acts like a single tablet glow will instantly short-circuit a child's brain, and my...
Why Everyone Is Searching for That Baby Assassins Movie (And Other ...
It was exactly 2:14 PM last Tuesday. I know this because I was staring at the microwave clock, wearing my husband Mark's grey college sweatpants—the ones with the inexplicable bleach stain near the knee—and waiting for my third cup of...
Dear Past Sarah: The Ash Baby GIF Meme Is Not A Medical Crisis
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, I'm staring at my glowing phone screen in the absolute pitch black of my kitchen at 3 AM, clutching my fourth cup of lukewarm decaf and absolutely convinced that my youngest child is...