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A stressed mother holding a cup of coffee while looking at her phone in a messy kitchen

That cute baby raindeer show is actually a parental nightmare

I was standing by the kitchen island at 6:45 AM on a Tuesday, wearing gray sweatpants that honestly probably smelled like stale yogurt, scraping hardened oatmeal off a plastic bowl with my thumbnail, when Leo casually walked in holding his...

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Confused dad holding a measuring tape over a pile of different sized blankets

Decoding Baby Quilt Dimensions When You Can't Put Them in a Crib

I'm sitting on the hardwood floor of our Portland apartment with a Stanley tape measure, surrounded by six different square-ish blankets, trying to categorize them by surface area. It's exactly three weeks after the baby shower. My wife, Maya, is...

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Exhausted dad holding two toddlers while one wears a plastic tiara

Raising a Baby Queen: The Brutal Truth About Royal Parenting

At precisely 4:12 on a Tuesday morning, I found myself executing a deep, entirely unironic bow to a person who had just soiled herself up to the shoulder blades. My mother-in-law had visited the day before, bearing a rhinestone-encrusted tiara...

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A tired mom holding an infant while a golden retriever puppy chews on a slipper.

The Unfiltered Reality of Raising a Baby and a Puppy at the Same Time

I was sitting flat on the cold kitchen linoleum at three in the morning, nursing a highly irritable four-month-old on my left side, while a ten-week-old golden retriever mix actively tried to swallow the fuzzy pom-pom off my right slipper....

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Messy high chair tray with squished roasted baby potatoes and a teether

The Absolute Worst Night I Tried Roasting Baby Potatoes

I'm standing there holding a wooden spoon like some kind of medieval weapon, and it's exactly 6:18 PM on a Tuesday. The kind of Tuesday that feels like it's been going on for fourteen actual years. I'm wearing my husband's...

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A tired mom holding a tiny feathered chick and a syringe of formula in a messy kitchen.

Dear Past Jess: The Brutal Truth About Raising A Baby Parrot

There's weird, lukewarm yellow formula cemented into my hair, the digital food thermometer is blinking an angry red 106 degrees at me, and I'm sitting on the cold linoleum of the laundry room floor at two in the morning desperately...

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A dad sitting on the grass at a London baby park with twin infants.

The Baby Park Survival Guide for Chronically Tired UK Parents

I'm currently crouched in the damp, questionable mulch of our local playground, forming a frantic human barricade around two tiny, drool-covered infants. To my left, a feral four-year-old is hurtling past wielding a half-eaten breadstick like a medieval javelin. To...

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A stressed mom holding a smartphone showing a baby contest voting page

Is the Baby of the Year Scam Actually Stealing Your Data?

My phone buzzed for the fourth time before 9 AM, and I nearly dropped a spit-up covered burp cloth right into my fresh mug of coffee. It was another group text from my cousin, begging our entire extended family to...

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Exhausted mom holding a crying congested newborn baby in a dark nursery

The 2 AM Snot Panic and the Alligator Wrestling Match

I was sitting in the rocking chair at two in the morning, holding my oldest kid when he was just three weeks old, and he sounded exactly like a forty-pound pug who had just run a marathon in the Texas...

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